sex dolls!

So i was just reading a magazine article about sex dolls, pretty realistic sex dolls too! the whole nine yards rubber bodies, hair, teeth, make up the lot made to measure and pretty awesome! not sure where you'd keep one :-p anyway as much as i'm slightly disturbed there's a thriving business for these i'm all for things that give us pleasure.........what disturbed me was a small list of repairs, amongst them a colon replacement and labia lips replacement! i mean fuck that man must have been going at it some to do that sort of damage!? ha ha hats off to him :-)

hmmmm i wonder if i might like to give one a go :-) not sure where i could hide him though he he

lesbians?

So today i was asked why lesbians use dildo's and strap on's if they don't like men? and I've gotta say i'm not sure? I guess i use them whilst masturbating but i like cock and actually think it's no substitute? give me a real willy any day :-)
I also questioned this when the lovely Mr B let me fuck him with a strap on? i mean, i guess I'd take cock over strap on any day so had to wonder why he wouldn't ?........but saying that he said it was more about me doing it and not something he imagined a guy doing? So i guess it's more about getting the most pleasure from the person you're with?
hmmmmm i wonder..........well i couldn't live without cock and think lesbians are missing out :-)

Rehab?

So today i've got to wondering what rehab for sex addiction would consist of? I mean they surely can't stop masturbation? So what do they do i wonder?

I come to this train of thought after watching a program about an armless man who made me think if i ever lost my arms i'd need rehab for my masturbation habit! Or indeed i wonder if medical prescriptions could include a personal masturbator? that would be awesome! I'd do that job ;-).......but while i understand that with no arms you'd have to go without :-/ I don't understand firstly why anyone would want to be cured of sex addiction and secondly how they cure you of it :-o

thoughts?

sex on the bonnet?? just a quickie ;-)

WOW so 6 weeks without sex and i'm practically constantly copping off with myself you porn has been on my laptop often! On that note can i say, that i have managed to misplace the DVD Mr B made me of him copping off :-/ having a couple of teenagers in my house this is a worry! I'm sure it's here somewhere though :-o

so anyway back to the deviancy, the mention of sex on a bonnet has made me think I'd quite like this perhaps tied to the wing mirrors? face down? flat on the bonnet not too hot :-/ mmmmm I've given myself the horn! mmm naked hard metal pressed against my nipple spread over a bonnet! OK this needs to go on my sex bucket list!

Mr A = Tosser

Not the usual deviancy just ranting :-)

Hmmm ever felt like you can't get it right? Well today Mr A reached new lows firstly let's be clear that we're totally not together more his fault but willing to admit relief was the overall feeling :-/
hmm so he's been in my life for so many years that it seems an awful shame to not have him there but he's making it hard!
Firstly he's seeing someone else, which i'm fine with but have no real interest in, but I've sat and listened to her good points and how she's perfect for him, fuck I've listened about their sex life hoping we'd be OK but when his facebook became filled with photo's and declarations of love and relationships :-p i decided to hide his posts not wanting to be a cow and delete him so just hid them because i'm not made to stalk and don't really give a flying rats arse but anyway apparently i'm still a cow for doing this because i missed something he wrote on there? :-/ clearly i'm not getting it right! add to that that i'm awesome girlfriend material and your mum will love me :-p well his mum phoned me and invited me and the kids for new year :-/ something which I'd sort of planned with her when with Mr A but obviously something i don't want to do now, i tried to explain it to her but she was having none of it so i phoned Mr A (got in trouble for phoning whilst the new girl was there) and asked him to have a word with his mum for me and not to be horrible but to get me out of it? not unreasonable? anyway this ended up with me muscling in on his family and spoiling his chances of taking the new girlfriend? Fucking arse holes! i can't be arsed with it i hope he gets itchy balls and is unable to scratch them! grrrrr toss pot :-o

looking back :-)

So it's that time of year when we look back over what's been going on in the year, well i was looking back over my blog at previous posts and actually i was thinking I've not had a bad year :-D hmmm also looking at last years resolutions and can happily say i succeeded in all of them! some of them took longer than new year's day but i got there and managed all of them!
So this got me thinking about this years resolutions :-/ hmmmm what do i want from next year??
Suggestions guys?
can i put find a deviant lover as a resolution?

professional masturbating???

Hmmm so being out of work is leading to copious amounts of masturbation i'm not sure how I'll cope with being back in work? unless i can find something that lets me masturbate on the job :-p It really is a shame i couldn't be a prostitute because it's almost a perfect job for me well other than the sleeping with fat old men :-/ Hmmmmm maybe i could vet potential employers :-p ha ha ha i like sex far too much to charge for it :-D

break up lessons :-)

Found this on line and thought it was very true so thought I'd share :-)


9 Best Lessons from Breakups...
1. Being Single is Okay
Some women may have been in a relationship for so long that they're not sure how they feel being single. It's a big adjustment to go from being one-half of a couple for so long to now being on your own. While going through a breakup, you can learn a surprising amount of information about yourself. Being single is also much better than being in an unhappy and unhealthy relationship.

2. You Can Have a Life That Doesn't Include Him
At one point, you likely envisioned a future with your boyfriend and couldn't imagine what your life would be like without him. After a breakup, you may find yourself saying "I don't know how to have a life without him in it." You can do it, but it takes time to adjust. Don't let him tell you that it's impossible; you can have an even better life than you did before even if he's not a part of it.

3. There is No Excuse for Certain Actions
In a relationship, you can sometimes be blinded by love. There are probably times when you forgave certain actions you probably shouldn't have, but after a breakup, you realize what those things were and how you should have reacted differently. If you learn from those mistakes, there's a good chance you won't let them happen again.

4. Love is Not Enough
When we're young, many of us follow our heart first and think second about if it's the right decision. As we get older, that starts to change but somewhere deep down we still carry that hope that maybe love really is enough. Unfortunately it's not - there's lines he may cross that even love can't fix - but learning that can actually help you. Love can do a lot - it can get us through some really tough times, but when you learn it's not all you need in a relationship, you learn not to completely rely on that. You start working harder on everything else it takes to make a relationship work and expect your boyfriend to do the same.

5. Communication and Trust Are Essential
A lack of trust or communication has led to many relationships falling apart. Many know this going into a relationship, but knowing and following through are two different things. After a breakup, think about when you could have communicated better and when you should have trusted your now-ex and didn't. You may not want to think about it and rehash old memories, but it can help you in future relationships.

6. Assuming Gets You Nowhere
There have probably been several times when you made an assumption about a situation, got angry and later found out the anger wasn't warranted. A few months ago, I was angry when I thought I got stood up by a guy I was dating. After awhile, I got a text saying he was on his way. It turns out there was an outage in the subway, his train was stuck and since he was underground he didn't have cell service - the outage was all over the news the next day. If you get angry at a future boyfriend about something, give him a chance to explain himself before you hit the "ignore" button when he calls.

7. He'll Cheat if He Wants to
If your now-ex told you it was your fault he cheated, he's wrong - he's the one that had the final decision to leave you or cheat and he chose the latter. I know it's a scary thought - that a man will say say you're amazing and he'll mean it, yet he could still cheat. On the other hand,, some women almost suffocate their men in an effort to keep them from cheating, but it really doesn't work and may actually have the opposite effect. They'll try to keep men from doing certain things like going to a sports bar to watch a game or speaking to a female friend once every few months. It's not a good feeling to be cheated on and unfortunately, most of us have been through it at least once, but regardless of how you treat him, if he wants to cheat badly enough, he's going to do it.

8. You Can't Change Him
When I was younger, I was involved with someone who was addicted to certain substances. I worried all the time, had trouble sleeping and talked to him all hours if he needed support. It finally got to a point where I knew I couldn't help him when he wasn't willing to help himself. After a breakup, you may feel completely guilty and heartbroken walking away from him, but the truth is, you can't make him change if he doesn't want to or isn't ready to. It doesn't just apply to someone who has an addiction, it applies to anything you may want to change about him whether it's that he doesn't feel like getting a job or he parties too much. There's only so much you can do for someone - the rest is up to him.

9. Reveal Sooner Than Later
While everyone is entitled to their secrets, there's just some that can wreck a relationship. If there is information you know deep down your partner should know, keeping it from him can only cause problems. The longer you delay telling him, the bigger the problem gets - then, in addition to revealing the secret, you also have to worry about explaining why you didn't tell him earlier. You never want to get to a point in or after your relationship when you say "I should have told him sooner."

As much as we say we would never do specific things or react in a certain way while in a relationship, sometimes you truly don't know until you're actually involved in the situation with someone you're head-over-heels in love with. After a breakup, once you truly grasp the lessons and learn from them, you're likely to do everything possible not to make the same choices the next time. If you have to go through the heartbreak of a breakup, it's better to at least make sure you're getting something in return for all your hard work.

I found the list here:
http://yourwisdom.yahoo.com/your-relationships/lessons-learn-breakup-art...

so fucking horny!

Hmmmm so today i went to see Mr B's new house and was already horny after talking to my bestie this morning so had copious amounts of masturbation before i went to ensure good behaviour! I was nearly tipped over the edge by his fiddling with himself and obvious hard on! glad he didn't try anything not sure how much my resolve would have held out :-o grrrr rushed out at almost indecent speed, i think :-/ oh well :-p needed to get home to sort myself :-) Think i might be just about masturbated out though! if there is such a thing.

A bit of filth! :-)

So we all know that i'm bloody horny, all the time! So recently a certain young lady and a hot guy have been entertaining my filthy mind was some real filthy talk. :-) It's been pretty awesome and OK they both live the other side of the world and i'm never gonna meet them but they can both do a very good job of getting me off, and they are seeing me through this dry spell ha ha so the lady in question is fecking hot and definitely making me reconsider the whole lesbian thing :-p and the man well i do like a man that can talk dirty comfortably :-) You know how some people do it but obviously aren't comfortable with it well the people in question are very good at it and make me properly horny :-)

pyjama's??

Hmm so i read today that pyjama's spell the end of the honeymoon stage? I've never been one for clothes in bed or anywhere else for that matter but i guess if there comes a stage that you wear pyjama's instead of diving under the covers naked to feel your partners nakedness this would indeed spell an end to the exciting sex times :-/ with Mr A it actually used to bother me that he wore boxers all the time, unless fucking me?? he'd get up and put them on after? seemed a bit weird other guys have done that i guess though but never pyjamas! lol i am now going to take this as a massive insult if a man wears pyjamas in bed with me :-o

Sorry about the depression the other day and thanks to the lovely Mr B for checking in on me :-p
Have got more to say on the whole Mr A  saga but not today or not just now.
Anyway opinions about the pj's?

single again :-/

Hmmm so i'm single again me and Mr A were destined to fail i feel :-/
We had far too much history and know each other far too well and he's a jealous fuck and i can't cope with the insecurity and i felt like i was always walking on egg shells, i mean i stopped talking to all the other exes :-p except when he pissed me off :-p wrong i know but hey who can help it. So it's been a couple of weeks and i'm struggling to be civil mainly because he's started seeing someone else! Now i know i don't want him but i guess i wanted to mean more than him moving on a couple of weeks later and i know that he's insecure and needy and can't cope with being alone but still! it gets to me :-( So now i'm usually all for being friends with ex's but i'm wondering whether this is actually hurting me more than it's helping and for the first time i'm considering wiping them all out of my life? I mean seriously we're not friends? I'd never phone them (unless i'm horny) and i'm sure none of them really view me as a friend i'm a boredom filler more than anything :-/ Wow i'm a little ray of sunshine today :-(

drunken communications ;-)

So tonight the lovely Mr A has gone out and that's fine obviously but it got me to wondering about drunk texts/calls/emails/facebooking :-p and what strikes me is that you should get them and if you don't surely there's something wrong? I mean when i'm sober i happily bother him especially if i'm horny so clearly drunk it's not even something i can control? So last time he went out, he didn't and i was a bit put out because he was really drunk and i wasn't the person he wanted to contact? chances are if he had of got in touch i would have told him to fuck off but still! It's surely a massive compliment and a real shame if someone gets drunk and resists the urge? i dunno perhaps it's unreasonable? thoughts people? oh and i feel i should make it clear he wanted to contact me but was pretty sure I'd be pissed about it he he he :-)

mmmmm bum sex :-)

Hmmmm so i haven't had bum sex for a while and I'd almost forgotten how much i like it :-) OK so it's a bit weird going in but once it's in, it's bloody good :-) It does feel really good and i think i should have it more :-)

Also a bit of an update things are going good with Mr A I'm getting used to the sex and starting to enjoy that he doesn't cum loads but instead lasts ages, at first i found it really hard and felt almost like it was a personal slur :-o lol (quality over quantity i'm told :-p) but i get what i want from the sex and he likes me cumming loads before he does and so sometimes sex goes on a bit longer than I'd like but hell i guess that's nothing to moan about and well he usually managed quite often and after the first time he's not so good at holding back and i'm getting better at making him cum against his will :-) I still haven't made him cum from blow jobs yet although i think he's holding back on purpose just to keep me giving him loads of blow jobs he he he not that i mind and i don't really mind him not cumming i just need lots of reassurance that it's not me :-) so yeah all in all things are not bad he's a bit emotional and girly and gets all stroppy that i'm not shouting our relationship from the rooftops but he puts up with it and well facebook isn't for my private life :-p ha ha and i'm just not ready yet either :-/

i'm awesome :-p

So tonight as i sit here drinking my bulmers and eating nik naks i'm struck by my awesome girlfriendness :-p
So tonight i was awesome i went i took food cooked dinner while he got in the bath, cleaned his kitchen, gave him copious amounts of sex and stopped when he moaned of overuse :-p before massaging thoroughly until he was almost comatose then left him to enjoy his relaxing state :-p
I was in a good mood though i had an awesome wank earlier :-) it left me with a huge grin on my face and in such a good mood absolutely gorgeous! ha ha even felt the need to treat my magic wand like a light sabre :-o ha ha such a geek i know

every time! tea and blow jobs?

So i was seriously starting to wonder if me and Mr A could make things work? but tonight we argued over fucking tea?! i mean really?

So how did we start, oooh let's go back a day or two when Mr A reminded me I'd never finished him off with a blow job mostly because he always stops me and because he didn't manage it often enough for me to waste it :-p but well anyway i'm feeling inadequate! so moving on tonight i went over he started on me before i finished my tea but well he made me cum quite a lot so i forgave him then he stopped before he cum he stopped not me although I'd had my share :-p so i wanted a drink and asked him to get it? wow he refused let's not forget that after orgasm the legs are shaky and i really would have appreciated it but well i got up and got my own fecking drink! but i was put out but well 10 mins later i was horny i thought I'd give him a blow job and let him finish off after all I'd had my lot :-p but well i couldn't make him cum well i couldn't he couldn't who knows anyway we fucked he cum then i suggested he should make tea where he suggested i hadn't made him cum and he'd had to do it "himself" :-p clearly already feeling a little insecure i didn't need that then he kicked off about it being my turn to make tea and i left i couldn't even be arsed to argue over such crap! obviously i came home and we ended up arguing on msn anyway:-/
I don't know what to do about him now :-/ that's ridiculous though isn't it?

Hmmm not so good!

So i was so proud of not having sex with Mr A then the next morning he knocked kissed me bent me over the stairs and thoroughly fucked me :-) Now that's most definitely what i like :-)

Feel a bit shitty that other man's nan died :-/ can't work now knowing on the day his nan died i was fucking someone else on my stairs :-/

What to do about Mr a???????............ i don't know

three times?

Hmmm so the new man in my life has cancelled on me three times in the past week! All legitimate reasons but it makes me think it shouldn't be this hard? So first time he was ill throwing up second time he got caught up at work and now today his Nan had a heart attack! Don't get me wrong i know that can't be helped but seriously should i not take this as a sign from the universe? Well after cancelling before only death was going to be acceptable but surely you wouldn't just say that to get out of something? I can't help but be quite cynical about this, obviously it hasn't helped that i let Mr A take me to dinner to console me :-p he just put doubts in my mind on the bright side i didn't have sex with him although i will admit at one stage this evening he had his fingers up my vajayjay in the pub :-/ not appropriate behaviour :-p

phone sex :-)

Hmmm so a spot of phone sex with the new man today and what can i say? The man shows promise :-o So we're still not actually having sex but i don't know honestly how long I'll hold out! Dam society and it's slutty rules!

Oooh and the other day i had a spot of filth online with um Mr B? i think he is :-p and he's the best at filth he made me cum just through a bit of dirty talk oh and my own mind :-p I've never done that before! I've always cum easy but that's surely not right? especially as i feel nothing for him these days? I guess that makes me extra slutty? hmmm oh well :-p

Attracting pervs?

Hmmm so i'm in the early days of meeting a new man and things are progressing slowly and i'm so fucking horny it hurts but this is beside the point the point is that phone calls with said new man have become a little heated, as ya do :-p and he proceeded to send pictures of an intimate nature to me? I'm all for this and obviously used said images as masturbation aides but it concerns me that he would so early on it's only been a week and we're not doing anything physically yet and obviously he's not the first man to do this so it makes me wonder if that's the kind of guy i attract? Pretty big bonus i guess as i do love a perv :-D Dam we need to make it to date 5 very quickly :-)

just a quickie :-)

lol not as deviant as it sounds this is just an update for my sex bucket list :-p thought i better put it on while i think of it :-)

Sex in a seedy American motel which has a vibrating bed powered by dime's :-o ha ha

Such a piss head!

So i think i might be becoming an alchie :-p good times ha ha

What do i need to say Mr A is a fucker and i love him but as a friend we have a fragile friendship at present which i feel i'm the only one trying to save as he wants me and babies :-/ such a worry! Mr B also a fucker he has decided to move into a house on my running route clearly making it that i can't go that way because red sweaty and gasping is never a good look! Mr C i feel bad that i should have seen but haven't quite got round to but i will! but he's a fucker too! Mr D is totally outta my life and now Mr E new man shows promise, he's a police man :-) but he wants babies not necessarily a problem as i'm broody as fuck? and he's so fucking hot :-D

ooops just checked Mr C should be Mr D and vica versa :-p

wine again :-)

I've had too much to drink so sorry if this is a bit gibberish but few things i feel the need to make note of first Mr A? grr can't remember who's who anyway he's a tosser who fucking thrives on making everything about him much too draining to date so back to friends :-/ also after a bit of experimenting with neck to wrist behind the back restraints i find myself a bit more understanding of the whole strangling heightening the orgasm? still not sure I'd comfortable encourage someone else to d it but i did find myself tugging a little harder that appropriate on said restraints :-D 

Sorry for the massive gap in blog posts but I've not been home much :-)

grrrrrr fecking idiot men!

Hmmmm so today i had a massive row with Mr A really reminds me why i don't want to be with him! Granted he broke up with his g/f last week but my god the man is one miserable fucker! Honestly everything is about him and it's so fecking depressing but I've tried to be a good friend and be supportive and listen and even apologised for occasionally telling him he's a miserable fucker! Well anyway he's depressed and lonely and on the verge of getting involved with some awful woman but even this i tried to stay out of understanding he perhaps needs someone to get over his ex? but said woman has let him down loads and seems to be generally fucking him about so can you imagine how enraged i was when he said this phrase! "I'll be home at 5 I'll meet you there not sure how long I'll be about though because that girl said we might meet" Hmmm well i can deal with a lot and indeed when he had the g/f i dealt with being fitted in but fuck off am i ever playing second to some jumped up little bitch that's fucking him about anyway. Needless to say i let rip and told him to fuck himself and explained that you know i'm not being fitted in he either arranges to see me or not, unreasonable?
Well then we stopped talking till he text me about 9 saying "told you, you should have come over she cancelled on me" Fuck the man obviously has a death wish after some heated words he text " so i take it you're not coming over?" grrrrrr obviously this started me off again and then i got oh i can't do no right all you women just try making me feel shit none of the m care it's just all about how shit i make them feel i just wanted some affection and to feel worth something, obviously it made me feel bad and gave me the hump :-p but i apologised if i made him feel shit but explained that it works both ways and obviously if i didn't give a shit firstly it wouldn't bother me and secondly I'd just ignore it all :-/ any way worse still after that he text "so shall i come over?" ummmm no! fucking leave me the fuck alone for a few days! i get over things quickly but just wasn't happening tonight! He must have upset me even the thought of sex couldn't tempt me!

Mr A is single :-/

Hmmm so Mr  A is newly single and i'm not sure how i feel about it? I like that i don't have to feel guilt about fucking him but because i can fuck him at my leisure it's not so much fun :-o wow that makes me a real bitch! hmmmm he's got a tendency to be somewhat clingy too and i find myself  holding back to prevent this it makes me a little mean at times to make sure he realises that he's not what i want long term :-/ i don't mean to be though.

Oooooh more importantly i popped his anal cherry! He wasn't so keen :-/ ha ha he claims it was too much too soon and he just felt violated ha ha I've left him alone since but do not know if to try again or whether it was a definite keep the fuck away? He's not been near my ass since, i wonder if he fears if he does it i will?

doubts?

Hmmm why am i up so early, when i was oh so drunk last night. I don't remember getting home and i'm a little worried about what i might have done on line :-s Not what i wanted to talk about though.

Hmmm so yesterday i got talking to Mr A and he said these words "sometimes it's easier to get hard to porn by myself"??
Is this true? and should i be offended? am i just being over sensitive? I hate that i'm not better than porn! Hell it's made me feel positively inadequate!
So this came from last time we had sex, he struggled to get properly hard, blaming it on too much wanking. Obviously this is difficult in the first place (boys if you can't get hard we will think it's because you don't fancy us :-p) but i just worked harder ;-) and he says he didn't expect to cum but did anyway and i really am all his slutty dreams in the bedroom but i hate that he feels he could easier get hard by himself with porn:-/
I guess i can get off quicker with my vibrator and a bit of porn but not easier, well maybe easier :-p hmmmm OK i get it but still i hate that he said it, it's made me feel inadequate and surely men should find it easier to fuck me than wank humpffff!

vicks? It burns!

Hmmm note to self; do not leave Vicks on bedside table as man in your life despite the lights being on! will assume it's something deviant and liberally spread it on your vajayjay! Be warned, it burns!
To be fair it's quite a nice burning and I'd be up for doing it again with a little less perhaps? lol needless to say last night there was too much of it and it took plenty of diluting with some banana lube to get over it ha ha i think he suffered more than me :-p

grrrr and breathe

hmmmm so i need to vent!
Tonight i did it i slept with the ex again after 17 days might i add I'd been doing so well and to make it worse it was mediocre sex :-/ um once no real foreplay no cunnilingus nothing! i'm raging grrrr sure way to piss me off is leave me horny! So you know the sex was OK as foreplay little desperate and frenzied and adequate but not as a 17 days without sex! I don't give a shit how knackered he is, or how much he needs sleep or even that he was not really in any state to fuck me again he's usually pretty good at making up for the fact that he takes his time to recover but tonight i'm left disappointed. hmm i can get over how bad i feel for good sex but not ever for mediocre sex! Can't believe he actually left claiming exhaustion grrrrr and breathe time to go sort myself out :-p

ice cube sex :-)

oooh so i forgot to mention this but feel it warrants one :-)

So like i say Mr A has a tongue piercing so he got the ice out and it was good but perhaps better than this was he got the ice out during and whilst i wouldn't recommend this unless unbearably hot! On Monday it was so as i rode him and we got hot and sweaty it was pretty nice when he run ice down my back and pretty awesome when he rubbed it across my clit and so i was all for him popping a piece up my vajayjay :-) which he did and once it was it i couldn't really feel it but he certainly enjoyed it which was pretty awesome and yes it was very wet but like i say on a hot muggy night it was definitely the way to go :-D

anal cherry popping :-p

lol so I'm back from an illicit encounter with Mr A :-p where the sex was pretty good i let him have his first sober anal encounter which was awesome! I do love a bit of anal! I'm still to pop his anal cherry but give me time :-p He's agreed to let me at least i just need to grab some anal lube as all i have is flavoured stuff and that can be a bit sticky much better for licking off :-)

So the sex is pretty good getting better, the man's willing to learn at least but one or two things bother me :-/ first he doesn't manage often i guess he goes for quality rather than quantity :-p but I'm finding this a little hard to deal with. Don't get me wrong we all like a man that lasts but not always? I want to be able to make him cum and he doesn't he purposely holds back which obviously as he doesn't go again without moaning is maybe a good thing but it makes me feel like i'm crap at it? lol some of it is he stops me rather than i can't do it but still!

On the plus side his oral is coming along swimmingly! He is pretty awesome and getting better, he has a tongue piercing which is a first for me but definitely something I'd encourage! He really enjoys oral to properly gets in there which is so good! even after he's fucked me which a few men are a bit iffy about but he has no qualms about that i don't think I'd ever get bored which is good because he likes giving and i love receiving :-p what i would say though is after he's made me cum hard he carries on touching me when i just want to lay and twitch and enjoy the sensation ha ha never happy.

mistress material?

Hmmm so after entering into this illicit affair with an ex not the one with the toddler girlfriend even i can't be that much of a bitch that I'd be party to turning a child bitter, cynical and twisted :-p The one from many years ago wow my love life is complicated perhaps i should code them all?

So Let's start at the beginning let's have Mr A, he is currently in my sex life and i used to date him, well lived and was engaged to him when i was 16. Anyway we are now having pretty good sex but he has a girlfriend :-/

Mr B, He will be the guy that i was with when i started the blog :-) forever immortalised because he let me fuck him with a strap on :-D

Mr C is the one who raped my blog not a massive part of my life so figure we wont hear about him much.

um Mr D he is the guy who was 20 years older than me, he gets a brief mention every now and again :-)

hmmm think that's it for now i'll add to this as time goes on maybe :-p oooh that reminds me must look at the sex bucket list :-)

Anyway back to being mistress material, I'm not sure i am? So I'm fine that he has a g/f but i struggle with him talking about her? i mean really I'm either the girl you fuck or the girl you moan about your g/f to? because really OK she doesn't give you affection the sex isn't great but you're fucking someone else? clearly you're the one in the wrong :-p and also sporadic sex gives me the hump! and he's still being a bit of a wimp about sex, he moans a lot! Fuck i need a replacement :-p I am dating lots still though :-p

not working!

Hmmm so i know I'm all fucked up about the ex but well sex is better than none so i thought i might stick it out but for fuck sake the man moans! I mean really is there any such thing as too much sex?
I don't think so but fear after the man says I've turned into "some kind of sadistic nymphomaniac" :-o that he thinks maybe you can have too much sex and god it's taken him 2 days to recover from a couple of hours! Fucking hell boys thought it was every man's dream to have a nympho lover? :-/ and well just last week he was moaning of a distinct lack of sex? what's the deal? I'm fucking horny obviously and this is making me very cross :-p and i actually think I've always been this way just maybe he's getting too old for it :-p after all you boys peak at 18 and he is 33 :-p ha ha ha fecking wimp

and again!

OK so I'm not sure what I'm doing! GRRRRRR fecking men! Just come back from the ex's, he cooked me dinner and we were supposed to chat about what we were going to do now? Hmmm so he informs me he's on a "break" from the girlfriend and this i believe is my cue to bow out? I figure if we carry on this break will be permanent and to be honest he's a means to an end at the moment and not actually anything more? Sex is OK nothing wildly exciting but not bad? except i left him moaning that 3 times was enough and he thought I'd broken him! Fecking wimp! :-p So now we're just down to what we can salvage from this mess! He's my longest standing ex and he's always been about although we always float in and out of each others lives depending on if we're single or what but i fear we can no longer be this? More to the point i wonder whether all my ex's should not be in my life? Perhaps it's time to have a clear out?

Anyway today i ask can men and women be just friends after sex? i always thought yes and this 16 years of friendship was a great example and now I'm left wondering if I'm just kidding myself?

ooops i did it again :-/

Hmmmm so last night i had the ex over was supposed to be about us getting over last weekend and just having a laugh but well a bottle of vodka later and we ended up back in bed! Damn it! I've got no self control when it comes to sex :-/ grrrrr so now i don't know what to do? Don't want to lose him as a friend but it's pretty clear we can't be just friends at the moment and as much as i love having him in my life i don't actually want him :-/ although the whole no strings sex thing works for me and the fact he has a girlfriend while making me feel a massive bitch also means i get just the sex without the emotional crap? Wow i am actually a massive bitch! oh well :-)

New man?

Hmmm so today i went on another 1st date, mainly because i felt the need to draw a firm line under what happened with the ex, and yes, i felt a bit skanky going out with someone whilst having bite marks from another, but i covered them well. :-p I'm really glad i went he's pretty nice :-D oooh and younger so he says i can be a cougar ha ha obviously only a few years :-p but he's really got his shit together and he's very nice although he lives a bit further out than I'd like but well not a deal breaker i feel :-)

Fuck!

Hmmm so I've been distinctly undeviant! nearly six months without penetrative sex! I guess it was only a matter of time before i did something stupid.

So last night i went out got really hammered and slept with an ex! damn it! Things are distinctly awkward today not least because he has a girlfriend. I hate that we've done it we're such good friends and we've been out, and got pissed, many times and not felt the need to have sex, but I've been so fucking horny i had no hope i guess :-/ not an excuse and i do feel properly shitty about it. I am getting my karma though as it was i guess pretty rough sex and I'm pretty bruised :-o and the bite mark on my neck is not being covered easily so I'm clearly going to look like a skank until it fades :-(

On the bright side it was pretty good sex and i feel calmer than i have for months :-p

ooops

ooops so today I'm in trouble :-p the man in my life is being a massive arse!

Give me your thoughts people, am i in the wrong?

So this evening i had an ex over for dinner? There's nothing between us other than friendship, he's got a lovely girlfriend and we've been over for over ten years! We've perhaps had the odd bit of flirting but nothing has ever happened and i truly don't believe it would. So i think the man in my life was OK with this, i think he had issue with the fact that he came over early and spent time with the kids (something i have yet to allow him to do) but like i say we've known each other what um 16 years and we're still friends so he's not someone that's going to drift out my life and he's allowed around the kids because we are completely non romantic? grrrrr stooopid men :-p i know he has issues with me being close to some of my exes but really get over it! I know you hate me blogging too he's banned me from blogging about him hence the silence but I'm peeved grrrr If i wanted to go elsewhere i pissing well would.

Hmmm meeting the ex :-)

So what is better than seeing your ex when you're looking hot and they look crap? Well i thought this was all i needed but today i met an ex and i looked good! not that i ever don't :-p He looked not bad i guess but his present girlfriend, bless her, looked properly rough! lol greasy hair, no make up and in joggers :-) We stopped and chatted and it was obvious she was hating god for the meeting lol I know i shouldn't enjoy this as much as i did but well! i can't help it :-p

Very cross

Hmmm so as you may realise the new "man in my life" raped my blog! how very dare you! In future if I'm running late you will be waiting outside in your car and not allowed on my laptop and no it doesn't make it better that you were just checking my blog and it automatically signed in! Privacy is key here! oh and you will always just be "the man in my life" :-p

So last night i went out with said guy I'd already had a bit to drink and was running quite late so he came in to wait and asked to check his e-mail (not something i will allow in future!) where he then took advantage of the fact that my laptop is set up for my ease! grrrrr i am quite pissed about this but moving on. when i was ready i came downstairs and he appeared at the bottom. He stopped me a few stairs above reached up my dress and removed my knickers and pocketed them, where i believe they still are :-) Then he proceeded to ravage my pussy, as i stood above him with my thigh over his shoulder i thought i was going to collapse and he fecking stopped, pulled my dress down and took my hand and led me to the car! i was so pissed but obviously i got in the car waited till we were moving and proceeded to finish myself off lol I'm surprised he didn't kill us his eyes were clearly not on the road.
Anyway that set the tone of the evening with us both ensuring the other was in a constant state of arousal :-) Was pretty awesome except he kept chuckling away to himself and finally admitted what he'd done to my blog! This obviously caused me to be properly pissed off, although now I've read it I'm not oh so bothered, fecking cheek.
Needless to say sex did not finish the evening and indeed sex is not an option anytime soon! You my dear are going to learn just how badly you can want something and your punishment will be long and drawn out last night was but a drop in the ocean :-p I'm looking forward to keeping "the man in my life" constantly horny without release for at least the next month :-) You men are like children and you need to learn your boundaries, this is like adult grounding, you will learn.

punish!

So my new boyfriend, yes i said boyfriend! putting it out there, is amazing and has a massive cock that i worry is too big not a chance something that size would make it up my anal orifice but I'll give it a go. He is by far the best guy i have ever met and he's so much better than my ex i think i love him and will marry him.

ha ha ha how much trouble!

more sincere :-)

OK so i was thoroughly scolded for the mention of the gorgeous man in my life and reminded that his deviancy was sealed a few days ago when we went for drinks and he pulled me into a dark alley to eat my pussy hence the fact i know he's awesome with his tongue :-)

So this evening i want to say thank you to the gorgeous man for ignoring me when i said i was fine as i clearly wasn't and for risking my wrath by forcing my hand and making me introduce him to my children (mainly forgiven here because they were in bed don't make a habit of it :-p) when he turned up on my doorstep bearing chocolate uninvited this evening it was lovely to see you and i really appreciated you being here.

So sorry!

LOL so today my blog is the platform for an apology ha ha after earlier talking to the man in my life before someone knocked at my door about six this was when i closed my laptop and totally forgot! in my defence i then got caught up doing other things :-D

So obviously he's a little put out that i haven't given him a mention in here so I'm hoping to placate him since by the time i got back on line he'd given up talking to me :-/

Ha ha ha i can't help but laugh and i still hold up that actually he needs to be more deviant for me to give him blog time but hey ho here goes;

New man is gorgeous, over six foot towers over me but i quite like it :-) awesome with his tongue and a massive cock although we've not actually had sex yet so I'm with holding judgement ooooh and most exciting of all an anal virgin :-D pmsl what do we think babe kind of mention you wanted? oh and of course he's much better than any of the past men in my life :-D

uniform

Hmmmm so as i sit watching A few good men and Tom Cruise in uniform i can't help but feel a stirring in my vajayjay and it gets me to thinking that i want a man in uniform! So i have a new mission to find one but shhhhh don't tell the man in my life :-) i might just convince him to buy one :-D

embarrassed?!

OK so I've not masturbated properly for 2 weeks! well i hadn't but have just sorted that :-)

Anyway i had my mum staying for the past 2 weeks and the first week wasn't too bad i didn't really think about it but week 2 was spent in a caravan surrounded by people with no opportunity to cop off properly the odd fiddle was about all i managed! Anyway my embarrassment came in the form of part way through the second week i woke with my fingers up my vajayjay! on top of this i was sharing a bed with my mum :-/ fortunately she wasn't in the bed when i woke but i can't be sure this wasn't what drove her out! :-o note to self do not deprive oneself of masturbation. :-p

A fresh approach?

So yesterday i went on yet another coffee date with another guy of the Internet and i must say I'm a little sick of it! So I'm thinking perhaps i should change my online profile to something like this:-

Rampant female seeks horny male for an abundance of sex
No strings sex. After months of Internet dating i have realised that i am not ready for the deep and meaningful stuff but i am still so horny, therefore, i don't give a shit about your day or how badly your ex fucked you up or indeed any other shit in your past present or future. i don't want to integrate you into my life or let you meet my family friends or children or vice versa.
You must be willing to let me use you for lots of sex without complaint and be willing to try any number of sexual activities that i wish to partake in. In return i will also make myself available for sex within reason whenever you want it. i will happily let you watch sports or whatever else you like as long as you are hard and i can get myself off on you and i will willingly try any sexual activities you suggest as long as they don't involve pain! (i don't want bull whipping)
You need not apply if you are old, fat, ugly or emotionally stunted.

What do we think people? sending the wrong message?

More hitachi :-D

Hmm so today a certain someone on twitter gave me an idea what to blog about! Thank you :-D

So this is again about my Hitachi I'm thinking this one deserves some airtime :-p

Now let's set the scene a chair at the end of the bed, restraints attached and my man strapped to it, naked. Whilst i, I'm thinking dressed in a basque with stockings and suspenders and extremely high heels kiss him thoroughly before sucking, licking, nibbling and kissing my way down his neck, his chest, his belly, his thighs and moving to suck his hard cock, sucking, licking and nibbling his cock till he's so ready to cum. Then I'll stop, spread myself on the bed and get my Hitachi magic wand out and proceed to play with myself, massaging my clit with my Hitachi delving my fingers in my wet pussy and maybe inserting a vibrator up my arse too. mmmm I'm so wet and horny watching him want me and struggle against the restraints wanting me, watching as i make myself cum! Yum :-D

Deviant enough?

Hitachi magic wand :-D

Hmmmm didn't know what to blog about and then i remembered that i hadn't mentioned my magic wand! As this is my best friend i thought it probably deserves a mention :-D

I first heard of this a few years back on sex and the city and had often thought about buying one but until about a year ago I'd never got round to it, for those of you that don't know it is a mains operated vibrator, sold as a massager :-) Anyway my friend ordered one and raved about it so obviously not one to be left out, i had to order one too they cost about £50 i think, so worth the money! It is without a doubt the best sex toy in existence (well that I've found at least). Two power settings which at first i could barely cope with the lowest setting but now i can go some on the higher setting :-) It's pretty intense though and i sometimes worry that I'm going to desensitise myself but well I'm not going without :-) They sell attachments to fit onto it that i think i might like though, some variety :-)

I love masturbating!

Bucket list?

Hmmm so tonight i was talking of a bucket list and thought i should make one, then i thought of you guys and thought i should make a sex bucket list? I'm struggling though? most of the things I've wanted to do I've pretty much done but I'm giving it some thought and figure this will be a work in progress here are a few to start!

1. Get a man to fuck an apple pie
2. Fuck a man whilst he's driving ( perhaps unrealistic but hey I'd like to try)
3. Join the mile high club!
4. A foray into bondage
5. Hmmmm I'm not sure the other stuff is meant to be more than fantasy? (the likes of sex with a woman, a threesome, going to a sex club) I'll give it some thought?

Always deviant?

Hmm so today i was chatting to my first serious boyfriend, i was um 16 i think when we met we were together about 18 months we were engaged and living together until i met my husband :-/ Anyway obviously we were very young and we were having a good time, lots of drugs and alcohol were involved needless to say my memory of that time is somewhat hazy. There's so much we don't remember today it occurred to me i couldn't even remember how we met? Fortunately he remembered :-p So i always thought my deviancy was something that came with age, I've always loved sex but just assumed it was pretty run of the mill back then. I was shocked to hear apparently this wasn't totally true :-o Lol i can't even remember some of the stuff so I'm not sure? maybe he's just mixing me up with someone else :-p ha ha obviously it was still quite tame but there was quite a lot of outdoor sex some of which i recall and also some role play :-p who knew i would have done that back then :-p So this brings me to thinking about how your opinions change over the years, i mean oral sex is pretty horrifying when you're young but now i wouldn't live without! although I've always been a great fan? I actually love giving oral it makes me oh so horny and anal sex i didn't do that till well into my 20's and would have been mortified to be asked but now i actively encourage it ha ha hmmm what else? Sex toys, i didn't own one till i was about 21? now i have a drawer full :-p speaking of which i might take myself off and indulge :-D

Riding a hard cock!

OK today i am so horny i can't think of anything else all i can imagine is that feeling of riding a hard cock feeling it slide in and out of my wet pussy, feeling ball bags and hairy thighs against my bum! I really need to fuck a cock hard and thoroughly today. :-/

Hmmm I am horny to the point of distraction i just need a good, hard, rough fucking. I almost want to cry.

The deed is done!

So this evening after some rather stilted online chat i couldn't help but bring up our issues! Obviously i then phoned him and finished it off because even I'm not bastard enough to do it online :-p although phone wasn't much better but i felt leaving it till the weekend wasn't any better, so it's done! Wow i feel crap though he was completely shocked he said? Didn't expect it at all :-( damn i thought he was having doubts too, although i guess i knew he was willing to ignore it all by his puppy dog eagerness :-p Fuck it's shitty.

breaking up?

Hmmm so i have finally decided i need to break up with the new guy, he deserves better and he's so nice and i don't want to destroy that by being a bitch, which i already have been by sticking at something that i knew wasn't there and even now I'm putting off telling him. :-/

So Friday we spent the day together and it was awesome we had loads of fun strolling down the beach, lunch, pool, arcades and just generally acting like children. It was lovely and i was even OK with the PDA but at the end of it i wasn't horny it was just nice i was happy for it to end? So that decided me that even with sex this isn't getting any better so as horny as i am i have to stop this before the sex and this weekend we're going out and i have no kids and i think the general understanding is that we probably will but i can't! God i hate it! He's super nice. I wish i didn't need something more. :-/

So general advice as to how to best do this would be great! Do i leave it till i see him in person at the weekend or do i just bite the bullet and do it sooner? already talking to him this evening was strained?

death by masturbation?

I'm almost too embarrassed to tell you this! but i know you'd want to know :-p So the hot weather is gorgeous it makes me horny and therefore i wear skirts without knickers :-o shocking i know but i like it. So because i was in a skirt and knickerless i couldn't help my wondering hands, unfortunately i was driving at the time! I know i shouldn't but i did without even thinking about it, anyway i was absently fiddling away when i started to get a little too turned on i was pretty close so thought i better stop but my mind wouldn't stop so i carried on with dirty thoughts and a bit of vibration in the car and i was gone! Really nearly killed myself took every ounce of self control to pull my car over safely! It was good though :-) But it has left me thinking "No more masturbation whilst driving" I mean what  if i had of crashed? can you imagine my parent's and children's shame at finding i died with my fingers up my pussy? whilst driving and knickerless with my skirt round my waist. I'm such a deviant :-/

should i be worried?

Hmmm so i have hundreds of hang ups but i think by making others aware of them they become an issue so i therefor hide them well! After getting into a bit of dirty talk with the man in my life things were going ok, we were both still a little cautious as you are early on, we were still testing the boundaries. Um so he seemed ok until we got round to him telling me a story as you do :-p and well he's not very good at it? do we think this is an indication of what's to come?

Dirty talk pointers:

Don't ask if you can use a word!
Do make it all about the other person, i want to hear what you're going to do to me not what you want!
Drag it out!
Don't use the words groping! (so not sexy) manhood! (too romance novel) or gushing! (too porn mag).
Even if you're not used to doing it, first rule is, confidence is sexy! So yes i might be shocked that you tell me you want to stick your tongue deep into my wet pussy and feel me cum on your tongue! but i'll get over it and more than that it'll get me horny!
Obviously work up to this, set some boundaries feel the lay of the ground as to how bad it should be

scared?

OK so i think i scared the man in my life tonight? we sort of got a little heated on instant messenger and well one thing led to another and before i could stop it I'd expressed my desire for some light bondage and the strap on :-/ he was a bit lukewarm about both ideas?? actually a little frightened sounding! ha ha ha oh well let the games and gentle persuasion begin :-) let's be honest you guys are useless at saying no while we're giving blow jobs :-D but what if he doesn't come round? hmmm this could spell the end for us :-/ We'll see how it goes.

anyone for corn on the cob?

I'm so fucking horny I'd possibly go out and shag a dog just now :-p abstaining from the new man is taking it's toll especially after last night at the cinema when him rubbing my thigh nearly made me cum followed by some online filth :-p topped with ample porn! The suggestion of sticking a corn on the cob up my vajayjay is just a step too far!

O a serious note though I've never been one for inserting food into orifices although i did once masturbate with a cucumber? not what i thought it would be :-p curiosity more than anything else :-p and i had a horror story from a friend who lost a banana up there and the search for it by her boyfriend was not the romance they expected lol but saying that i like the idea of the apple pie and think the girth and texture of a warm cob could be worth a go hmmm dinner and dessert? :-D shitting hell I'm horny! grrr

growing on me :-D

So the man who i wasn't sure on is growing on me? He kisses beautifully and no i don't forget where i am but they're still really good and tonight i came away from him as horny as hell after almost thinking fuck waiting and fucking him in my car but i resisted and this evening we spoke of going away for the weekend in a few weeks when we will obviously get around to the sex part? This is actually a really lovely way to go about this i feel? to actually plan to go away to make that first time (not that we're virgins :-p) together special. I've never done this before i usually wait but it just sort of eventually happens and this time i was determined to wait as i slept with my ex on the second date and if I'm honest it wasn't special and it made me feel a little slutty and it obviously didn't go well and i get quite caught up in sex once i have it! so abstinence it is! I have got to the stage where him rubbing my thigh at the cinema actually almost made me cum! So horny! i could cry :-/

chipper?

ha ha so i've been stuck for things to blog about but am today feeling decidedly chipper. :-) think maybe the man in my life really is growing on me :-p

Spectacular :-D

So I've been giving some thought to whether i was expecting too much too early on?

I've decided no! i think if it's right you just know? If you don't then it's just not right and you're fooling yourself to think it ever will be.

I thought back to when i met my husband and i knew instantly, i was living with someone when we met, i met him on Thursday we had a night out with friends on Friday and Saturday i went home and finished things with my boyfriend and Sunday he put his arms around me and kissed me and the world disappeared and i felt safe and nothing else mattered? I knew he was what i wanted i gave up everything for him my flat, my boyfriend, some friends but he was my world and so yes that is what i want! and the ex even things weren't perfect but still despite the fact that i don't really do PDA he made me not care when he kissed me nothing else mattered and yes granted lots of that was because he made me horny as hell but still he had that effect on me.

So i want someone that makes my tummy turn when i see them or hear their voice and that makes everything else fade away. if it doesn't start that way it's not good enough.

Saying that I'm still seeing the guy from last week and his puppy dog enthusiasm is quite cute :-p

second date

Tonight i went on a second date with the man from last week and it was nice we chatted away things were OK um i had a nice time he walked me to my car and kissed me and the kiss was nice but that was it? He's got very soft lips :-p I'm trying really hard! What is the problem?

I'm going to see him again because well we get on well enough and I've got nothing better at the moment :-p which is quite mean, i know, but he might grow on me? I don't know, he deserves better!

So what am i after? i don't know i guess that feeling that the rest of the world disappears when he touches me? That feeling that i never want it to end? Is it just too early for that? should you always feel that or is it something that grows? I think maybe the ex made me feel like this but there was alcohol involved and we'd been talking a lot before? or maybe I'm just over romanticising it? and well let's be honest even if it's true it still didn't go great?

I don't know anymore? sick of dating :-p

Ticking all the right boxes?

So today i went for dinner with the guy i met for drinks yesterday (i cancelled the other guy) and it was a bit of a disaster :-/ How can someone be so perfect on paper but still not be for you? This guy ticks all my boxes but there's nothing there? Hmmm depressed thinking I'm giving up on Internet dating for a while although i am going out tomorrow with the guy from last week but i don't hold much hope as he doesn't tick any boxes :-p lol I'm so mean and so fucking horny grrrrr.

feeling like a teenager!

OK so tonight I'm going for drinks with a man who could just be the one! On paper he ticks all my boxes? He's almost too perfect? So perhaps this is why I'm so nervous this evening? I've been getting better but today has been nerve wracking! it's excited nervous so that's good! The fact that my belly's doing somersaults and i have a stupid grin on my face tells me i like him so tonight is a big step! eeeeeep :-D

I'll let you know how it goes!! Must go shave my legs ;-)

avoiding the ex :-/

So it's not fair that when I'm really horny my morals go out the window! I'd possibly fuck anything if horny enough :-p actually this is not true, i don't sleep about. I'd do anything to get myself off is perhaps more accurate?

So i went to my mum's at the weekend so no real me time :-p by the time i got home i was almost too horny to move :-o then i spoke to the ex and he made me even more horny which made me realise that actually where he's concerned, when I'm horny enough i have no morals and just talking to him makes me that way. He should not be taking advantage of this i feel :-p

Anyway this has made me avoid him as after talking to him the other day i was overcome with the urge to go to him and hopefully find him with his cock out in his office absently stroking himself enabling me to hitch my skirt up, straddle him on his computer chair, feeling him slide inside me and proceeding to ride him till i cum. grrrr I'm so horny!

more dating?

Hmmm so Friday i met guy 4? or is it 5? anyway met him for coffee we strolled along the seafront and chatted it was nice i said I'd go for dinner with him Saturday.

So this week i am perhaps overbooked as i have lunch weds, drinks Thurs, dinner Fri and dinner sat? all with different men :-o but this is OK isn't it? Is there such a thing as too much dating? I'm just covering all my bases :-p

Needless to say all this dating is making me horny as hell! grrrr so need to just pick one that i can get to know :-p they all have good points though :-/

grrrr! Are we all this horny?

Right! I'm so horny it's giving me the hump! everything turns me on! everything i look at makes me imagine having sex either on it or up against it! How is it even possible? How do some people not be horny? Why wouldn't you be? i mean orgasms are awesome so are we all just like this? Perhaps it's not just me?

I spoke to the ex today, and i was bored so told him to entertain me? I actually didn't mean it dirty but when he said "how do you suggest i do that?" It took every ounce of self control i have not to say "take ya clothes off and wank on web cam for me" and i know that's a bad idea! hence i stopped myself but i think avoidance may be the way to go there!

Dirty dream

So last night i had a hot dream and it's stayed with me making me horny all day so i felt the need to share.

So i was dressed in a long coat, over the knee socks and knee high boots, i knocked on the door he opened it pulled me inside, pushed me up against the wall and kissed me thoroughly while his hand reached down between my thighs his fingers entering my wet pussy, he pushed my coat off my shoulders pushed me on my knees on the stairs, buried his hands in my hair and proceeded to fuck me hard! I cum practically instantly and he wasn't far behind. we lay spent on the stairs for a while before i took him by the hand and led him up to the bedroom laying him on the bed he lay watching me as i slipped on the strap on and straddled him to tie his hands to the headboard, kissing him deeply i felt him growing hard against me, sliding a blindfold on i proceeded to lick and suck and nibble my way down his body. Reaching for the lube, i applied a liberal amount to him, loosening him up with a couple of fingers before lifting his legs over my shoulders his bum resting on my thighs giving me the perfect angle to enter him with my strap on, fucking him, watching him get closer and closer until he cums hard watching his body convulse as he does :-D

Needless to say I'm oh so horny today it was an awesome dream! not sure who the man was though :-/ but damn i wanna fuck him!

the 3rd 1st!

Hmm so today i accepted my 3rd first date! coffee with a guy that i'm not convinced about but in the interest of fairness and saying yes to everyone i am going i'll let you know how it goes,

wine and the second first date :-p

Hmmm so I've been on the wine again! and today i went on a first date with a second man so he's 38, local and oh so hot we went for coffee and I'm definitely getting better at meeting potential serial killers practically blase about it :-p it was nice but he didn't stimulate me so we probably wont meet again but good experience :-p and in his defence he was very nice and did all the right things :-/

The first man from the other day I'm also not convinced about as things are quite strained between us conversation just doesn't quite flow :-/ hmmm i dunno?

So my friend says i need to meet men the conventional way i.e. talk to strange men so tomorrow i plan to chat up a strange man in public :-p lol I'll let you know how this goes ha ha ha

motorbike horn!

So today i went for lunch with an ex on his sexy motorbike needless to say get a girl like me on a large vibrating machine and I'm gonna cream my pants! I had to excuse myself when we arrived and clean myself up and then when he dropped me home he came in for tea and didn't leave till my daughter got home so I've had the horn all evening! grrrr can't wait to get my Hitachi magic wand out and properly sort myself out! Needless to say i have no feelings for this ex otherwise i definitely would have rode him today but we're good friends and that would definitely complicate matters but i need to do something if i am to go on said bike again! I'm thinking the insertion of some love balls? lol so not appropriate. I think i wanna learn to ride :-D

intelligent comedy

So today i get to thinking that i love intelligent men, give me a man that makes me need a dictionary and it makes me wet! just thinking about it does me :-D so this makes intelligent comedy the most awesome thing. I love QI, Dara O Briain, Russell brand and more recently Ricky Gervais. I can't help it they make my insides go funny :-/

So this leads me to a guy I'm chatting to who's a doctor which is awesome but he leaves me worried that he's actually too clever! If there is such a thing? Perhaps time to brush up on my medical terminology :-D and trying to resist the urge to tell him to talk big words to me ha ha wow i really can't ever meet him i think I'd jump him in public!

Date one, done!

Hmm so tonight went really well, he was lovely. Must actually be getting better at meeting potential serial killers as the nerves went pretty quickly and left us able to chat nicely.

So he used to be a fire fighter and yes he still has the uniform! obviously i had to ask? lol did feel like a massive perv doing so but the words just wouldn't stay in :-) ha ha He's a bit of an adrenaline junkie which will maybe rub off on me? :-p a plus point. Can drive a motorbike! another plus point.

Anyway definite plans to see him again. Reserving judgement for now!

First date!

Hmmm so tonight i am going on my first date with a guy from this new dating site someone that i'm not sure i'd usually bother with but hey in the interest of saying yes to everyone we'll give it a go! Not the guy with the bull whip skills as after some research i find that a bull whip is an Indiana Jones style whip! I think that might just be taking it a step to far! but i'm definitely intrigued by some light bondage me thinks!

Anyway tonight's guy is divorced, local, 44, driving instructor, has kids, seems normal :-/ I'll let you know later how it goes if he isn't a serial killer and i live through the experience!

Now what to wear? heels? you have to for an evening of course! um dress? too much? jeggins? jeans? hmmm nice jeans heels and a top? casual but dressy? drinks not dinner.

Intrigued! Master Whiplash!?

Hmmm so i accidentally came across someone who is into some kinky shit a skilled bull whip artiste apparently? i don't even know what that is! but i have to admit to having a slight stirring in my vajayjay at the thought of a) being whipped and b) being dominated! Thinking this is maybe something I'll explore further?

I really don't do pain but i like it rough and figure i could go some spanking not sure whipping wouldn't be a step too far, but hey if you never try you'll never know?

Joining a dating website

So yesterday i joined a dating website and I've decided to put some serious effort into finding that man of my dreams that will let me do him with a strap on! ha ha so i am talking to everyone and anyone regardless of age, looks, location and colour and intend to say yes to anyone that asks! I will keep you updated with how this goes! :-D

A trend?

Ha ha ha so today i found that my friend has ordered a strap on and some restraints for her b/f for his birthday! lol i can't help but feel responsible :-p although i was only lukewarm about actually doing it but it has sprung to mind again and it was a good experience and one that I'm keen to redo to improve on and make it a skill :-p practice makes perfect i guess :-p now to just convince someone to let me do it :-)

So as you know the act of doing it was a little bit of an anti climax although not without enjoyment but i think i may be expected too much too? I think this was the same for him because he didn't seem overly bothered by it so i don't like not being good at things :-p so i think perhaps this will be my personal challenge :-p It was awesome to be knelt behind him and in control ;-) hmm yes definitely one to work on :-) volunteers? ;-)

All day masturbation. :-/

hmmm so yesterday I'm not sure if it was a full moon or what but i spent practically all day masturbating and feeling myself up! I just couldn't help it not sure what it was but every time i could get five minutes alone my hands were in my knickers! Even at the hospital visiting a friend! That can't be right? Even to the point that today I'm almost too sensitive to touch! don't get me wrong it felt awesome and well still does but i worry this is a problem! See now talking about it my hands automatically wander and i'm horny all over! I love it :-D

Valentine's day :-)

Hmmm so today my thoughts turned to Valentine's day and i feel that you men need some guidance :-)

So most of us say we're not that bothered but of course we are :-)

Cuddly toys are a big no unless you're ten though! don't get me wrong they're lovely to get but generally a big cop out and not really of any use. So what should you go for? Well obviously romance is the key here, it largely depends on what we're into go the extra mile and make it something special! Money is not an issue and generally expensive is not better for Valentine's day :-)

Underwear is awesome but only if you're really sure on our size! We all like a bit of a clue as to what you'd actually like to see us in so definitely underwear helps :-) along with sexy dresses and shoes that you'd like us in not necessarily what we'd generally wear.

Perfume also a nice Valentine's option but make sure you're aware of our favourite.

Chocolate! always appreciated.

Something made! An awesome personal option still to this day my favourite Valentine's prezzie of all time was a picture frame decorated personally and filled with favorite pics and those special song words!

oooooh or something deviant and sexy edible undies, massage oils and body paints fab!

Hope it helps and remember we're all different so just because this works for me it may not for her :-)

feeling better :-p

LOL so after my weekend of poisonous posts which you will now see are removed and that i really hope not many people saw! especially a certain someone :-p but well ooops what can i say i was seriously fucked off! anyway I'm feeling better :-) i have passed through to acceptance me thinks :-p

So thanks for your input and advice :-p and no i don't really feel threatened by the 19 year old surprisingly enough i believe that actually she won't be enough and that it wont last and despite many of you telling me to bide my time I'm not that sort of girl who is going to wait around. It's not so much who he chose to move on with as much as how quickly he moved on that leads me to realise that he never felt what i would have needed him to :-/ but that's OK. I'm surprisingly OK with it now?

lol if it's not too mean to say i actually feel a little sorry for him after spending a rather uncomfortable couple of hours with my brother in law and his um girlfriend? whom is 20 years younger and only 20 needless to say the age difference was quite noticeable and despite our best efforts it was hard work! I'm not even sure how? she's at university hard working and I'm guessing intelligent but there's just something in the way she looks at things that makes her appear a little gauche :-/ needless to say this confirmed my brother in law to be a perv and helped me realise that it's not actually jealousy that makes me disapprove (well not just jealousy :-p).

LOL and for those of you that tell me he's not worthy and obviously doesn't give a shit thanks :-D I know :-p and also we all know i'm every man's dream in the bedroom but thanks anyway :-D

Fuck you!

Hmmm so today I'm manning up and thinking fuck you! I'm better than this shit, i can deal with this and am faking it till i make it! Feeling good and positive today thanking the gorgeous Mr B for his beautiful view on me and life. I am awesome and i don't have to prove it :-D

Lol and so as not to lose the sex theme I'm back to being fucking horny all the time everything gets me horny at the moment it's rather indecent :-p

mutual masturbation

hmmm I'm a great fan of this but only at a distance like on web cam as put in the vicinity of an erect penis and i'm afraid my self control is zero! but i think this is a great way to be with someone you can't actually be with and well as i mentioned in the past more masturbation equals a higher sex drive so win, win!

I taste good :-)

Hmm so tonight i have been drinking! not a huge amount but enough to make me horny!

so as i sit here playing with myself and sucking my fingers i am reassured that i am still highly sexed and i taste awesome :-) and i met a cute guy :-) it's all good :-p

Not a nice person :-(

Hmm so not my usual sexual rant but something i felt the need to share and i love getting your feedback on facebook and twitter because you guys rock :-p even if you don't actually join or leave messages here i love ya anyway :-D

Also Mr Ex perhaps actually about time you stopped reading this because quite simply it's never going to be anything you want to hear :-(

Hmmm so as some of you may know, the exish type person is dating a 19 year old! something I've found hard to deal with i put my hands up to that but i was coping well, i really was getting there so when facebook decided to display said 19 year old as a friend suggestion due to us having two friends in common well you can imagine it did not go down well to find out said girl actually went to school with my best friend's daughter! damaging to say the least.

add to this me being a complete bitch about the child, well then obviously i feel bad, i was very mean, not to her obviously, and i was perhaps just venting a little but then to find she maybe had similar said in school made me feel really crappy! I really didn't mean it, she's just a child and I'm very sorry! even though she wont see this and will never know i was mean :-) I'm slightly disturbed that i am that person :-(

ooooh does it make me even worse that my whole reason for doing this is to make myself feel better?

Am I ill?

Hmmm so I'm worried i might be ill? I'm managing on a single masturbation most days and I'm not all that horny? what does this mean? I can't remember the last time i was like this feels a little strange? Hoping it'll come back if i start having sex again? but i don't know! Think maybe I'm just feeling a little emotionally delicate and that's having an effect?

I'm not sure if it's a good thing? It's less painful, but I'm worried it's gone forever? Nope I'm actually sure it's just because I'm a little raw at the moment and that's making me just need a cuddle and no other strings attached :-) well i hope so maybe? Is a low sex drive a bad thing? Hmmm interesting.....

Less masturbation!

Hmm so i read somewhere that the more you masturbate the higher your sex drive! not sure if it's true but thought as i masturbate ALOT and I'm ALWAYS horny that perhaps if i stop masturbating then i might not be so horny, and well, I'm still masturbating daily i can't help it! but only once maybe twice but that's it and actually I'm perhaps a little bit better? I'm still horny but bearably so, I think. Also not getting any so this is actually a good thing although not masturbating is quite hard and maybe why I'm not horny for sex because I'm spending so much time trying not to masturbate! anyway just wanted to share that :-p
Was gonna have a little personal rant but decided against it :-)

is age but a number?

Hmmm so i sort of think maybe this is the case but also think a lot of things need to be taken into consideration :-p

personally i couldn't date someone that much younger i did try recently but at the stage i realised they were closer to my daughters age than mine it made me feel like a dirty perv! :-p Saying that a friend recently slept with a 24 year old definitely closer to her 19 year old daughters age than hers and i didn't really approve although she wasn't about to date him which sort of made it worse a little predatory? hmm then another friend male this time slept with a 19 year old he's 31 sort of thought it was OK until i really thought about and thought my daughter is only six years younger :-/ makes me struggle to be OK with that lol not that I'm about to cut contact because of that although my other friend has now nicknamed him paedo :-p and I'll be sure to give him a hard time for it :-p taking it the other way i was dating someone 19 years older but think when you get to my age it's more of age being just a number and in life terms we were at the same-ish stage? oh anyway I'm not convinced it's OK to prey on the young :-p what are we thinking people? and is it more acceptable for men?

i donned the strap on!

Sorry we always seem to come back to this but well it became an issue but well we did it! If I'm honest it was a bit of an anti-climax? I think i may have expected too much? My biggest problem was that it was over too quickly i guess and i figure i should just have learnt to be patient but well it's done now and it's left me with no real desire to do it again and seen as I've just finished with the man that let me that's maybe a good thing :-) although maybe a new victim would have more self control? ha ha ;-p

So what went wrong? Well he says he didn't need the reach around ;-p so in future i guess one or the other unless I'm in a rush?

I am glad i got to do it though, not every woman can say she fucked a man up the arse with a strap on :-D