The deed is done!

So this evening after some rather stilted online chat i couldn't help but bring up our issues! Obviously i then phoned him and finished it off because even I'm not bastard enough to do it online :-p although phone wasn't much better but i felt leaving it till the weekend wasn't any better, so it's done! Wow i feel crap though he was completely shocked he said? Didn't expect it at all :-( damn i thought he was having doubts too, although i guess i knew he was willing to ignore it all by his puppy dog eagerness :-p Fuck it's shitty.

breaking up?

Hmmm so i have finally decided i need to break up with the new guy, he deserves better and he's so nice and i don't want to destroy that by being a bitch, which i already have been by sticking at something that i knew wasn't there and even now I'm putting off telling him. :-/

So Friday we spent the day together and it was awesome we had loads of fun strolling down the beach, lunch, pool, arcades and just generally acting like children. It was lovely and i was even OK with the PDA but at the end of it i wasn't horny it was just nice i was happy for it to end? So that decided me that even with sex this isn't getting any better so as horny as i am i have to stop this before the sex and this weekend we're going out and i have no kids and i think the general understanding is that we probably will but i can't! God i hate it! He's super nice. I wish i didn't need something more. :-/

So general advice as to how to best do this would be great! Do i leave it till i see him in person at the weekend or do i just bite the bullet and do it sooner? already talking to him this evening was strained?

death by masturbation?

I'm almost too embarrassed to tell you this! but i know you'd want to know :-p So the hot weather is gorgeous it makes me horny and therefore i wear skirts without knickers :-o shocking i know but i like it. So because i was in a skirt and knickerless i couldn't help my wondering hands, unfortunately i was driving at the time! I know i shouldn't but i did without even thinking about it, anyway i was absently fiddling away when i started to get a little too turned on i was pretty close so thought i better stop but my mind wouldn't stop so i carried on with dirty thoughts and a bit of vibration in the car and i was gone! Really nearly killed myself took every ounce of self control to pull my car over safely! It was good though :-) But it has left me thinking "No more masturbation whilst driving" I mean what  if i had of crashed? can you imagine my parent's and children's shame at finding i died with my fingers up my pussy? whilst driving and knickerless with my skirt round my waist. I'm such a deviant :-/

should i be worried?

Hmmm so i have hundreds of hang ups but i think by making others aware of them they become an issue so i therefor hide them well! After getting into a bit of dirty talk with the man in my life things were going ok, we were both still a little cautious as you are early on, we were still testing the boundaries. Um so he seemed ok until we got round to him telling me a story as you do :-p and well he's not very good at it? do we think this is an indication of what's to come?

Dirty talk pointers:

Don't ask if you can use a word!
Do make it all about the other person, i want to hear what you're going to do to me not what you want!
Drag it out!
Don't use the words groping! (so not sexy) manhood! (too romance novel) or gushing! (too porn mag).
Even if you're not used to doing it, first rule is, confidence is sexy! So yes i might be shocked that you tell me you want to stick your tongue deep into my wet pussy and feel me cum on your tongue! but i'll get over it and more than that it'll get me horny!
Obviously work up to this, set some boundaries feel the lay of the ground as to how bad it should be

scared?

OK so i think i scared the man in my life tonight? we sort of got a little heated on instant messenger and well one thing led to another and before i could stop it I'd expressed my desire for some light bondage and the strap on :-/ he was a bit lukewarm about both ideas?? actually a little frightened sounding! ha ha ha oh well let the games and gentle persuasion begin :-) let's be honest you guys are useless at saying no while we're giving blow jobs :-D but what if he doesn't come round? hmmm this could spell the end for us :-/ We'll see how it goes.

anyone for corn on the cob?

I'm so fucking horny I'd possibly go out and shag a dog just now :-p abstaining from the new man is taking it's toll especially after last night at the cinema when him rubbing my thigh nearly made me cum followed by some online filth :-p topped with ample porn! The suggestion of sticking a corn on the cob up my vajayjay is just a step too far!

O a serious note though I've never been one for inserting food into orifices although i did once masturbate with a cucumber? not what i thought it would be :-p curiosity more than anything else :-p and i had a horror story from a friend who lost a banana up there and the search for it by her boyfriend was not the romance they expected lol but saying that i like the idea of the apple pie and think the girth and texture of a warm cob could be worth a go hmmm dinner and dessert? :-D shitting hell I'm horny! grrr

growing on me :-D

So the man who i wasn't sure on is growing on me? He kisses beautifully and no i don't forget where i am but they're still really good and tonight i came away from him as horny as hell after almost thinking fuck waiting and fucking him in my car but i resisted and this evening we spoke of going away for the weekend in a few weeks when we will obviously get around to the sex part? This is actually a really lovely way to go about this i feel? to actually plan to go away to make that first time (not that we're virgins :-p) together special. I've never done this before i usually wait but it just sort of eventually happens and this time i was determined to wait as i slept with my ex on the second date and if I'm honest it wasn't special and it made me feel a little slutty and it obviously didn't go well and i get quite caught up in sex once i have it! so abstinence it is! I have got to the stage where him rubbing my thigh at the cinema actually almost made me cum! So horny! i could cry :-/

chipper?

ha ha so i've been stuck for things to blog about but am today feeling decidedly chipper. :-) think maybe the man in my life really is growing on me :-p

Spectacular :-D

So I've been giving some thought to whether i was expecting too much too early on?

I've decided no! i think if it's right you just know? If you don't then it's just not right and you're fooling yourself to think it ever will be.

I thought back to when i met my husband and i knew instantly, i was living with someone when we met, i met him on Thursday we had a night out with friends on Friday and Saturday i went home and finished things with my boyfriend and Sunday he put his arms around me and kissed me and the world disappeared and i felt safe and nothing else mattered? I knew he was what i wanted i gave up everything for him my flat, my boyfriend, some friends but he was my world and so yes that is what i want! and the ex even things weren't perfect but still despite the fact that i don't really do PDA he made me not care when he kissed me nothing else mattered and yes granted lots of that was because he made me horny as hell but still he had that effect on me.

So i want someone that makes my tummy turn when i see them or hear their voice and that makes everything else fade away. if it doesn't start that way it's not good enough.

Saying that I'm still seeing the guy from last week and his puppy dog enthusiasm is quite cute :-p

second date

Tonight i went on a second date with the man from last week and it was nice we chatted away things were OK um i had a nice time he walked me to my car and kissed me and the kiss was nice but that was it? He's got very soft lips :-p I'm trying really hard! What is the problem?

I'm going to see him again because well we get on well enough and I've got nothing better at the moment :-p which is quite mean, i know, but he might grow on me? I don't know, he deserves better!

So what am i after? i don't know i guess that feeling that the rest of the world disappears when he touches me? That feeling that i never want it to end? Is it just too early for that? should you always feel that or is it something that grows? I think maybe the ex made me feel like this but there was alcohol involved and we'd been talking a lot before? or maybe I'm just over romanticising it? and well let's be honest even if it's true it still didn't go great?

I don't know anymore? sick of dating :-p

Ticking all the right boxes?

So today i went for dinner with the guy i met for drinks yesterday (i cancelled the other guy) and it was a bit of a disaster :-/ How can someone be so perfect on paper but still not be for you? This guy ticks all my boxes but there's nothing there? Hmmm depressed thinking I'm giving up on Internet dating for a while although i am going out tomorrow with the guy from last week but i don't hold much hope as he doesn't tick any boxes :-p lol I'm so mean and so fucking horny grrrrr.

feeling like a teenager!

OK so tonight I'm going for drinks with a man who could just be the one! On paper he ticks all my boxes? He's almost too perfect? So perhaps this is why I'm so nervous this evening? I've been getting better but today has been nerve wracking! it's excited nervous so that's good! The fact that my belly's doing somersaults and i have a stupid grin on my face tells me i like him so tonight is a big step! eeeeeep :-D

I'll let you know how it goes!! Must go shave my legs ;-)

avoiding the ex :-/

So it's not fair that when I'm really horny my morals go out the window! I'd possibly fuck anything if horny enough :-p actually this is not true, i don't sleep about. I'd do anything to get myself off is perhaps more accurate?

So i went to my mum's at the weekend so no real me time :-p by the time i got home i was almost too horny to move :-o then i spoke to the ex and he made me even more horny which made me realise that actually where he's concerned, when I'm horny enough i have no morals and just talking to him makes me that way. He should not be taking advantage of this i feel :-p

Anyway this has made me avoid him as after talking to him the other day i was overcome with the urge to go to him and hopefully find him with his cock out in his office absently stroking himself enabling me to hitch my skirt up, straddle him on his computer chair, feeling him slide inside me and proceeding to ride him till i cum. grrrr I'm so horny!