wine again :-)

I've had too much to drink so sorry if this is a bit gibberish but few things i feel the need to make note of first Mr A? grr can't remember who's who anyway he's a tosser who fucking thrives on making everything about him much too draining to date so back to friends :-/ also after a bit of experimenting with neck to wrist behind the back restraints i find myself a bit more understanding of the whole strangling heightening the orgasm? still not sure I'd comfortable encourage someone else to d it but i did find myself tugging a little harder that appropriate on said restraints :-D 

Sorry for the massive gap in blog posts but I've not been home much :-)

grrrrrr fecking idiot men!

Hmmmm so today i had a massive row with Mr A really reminds me why i don't want to be with him! Granted he broke up with his g/f last week but my god the man is one miserable fucker! Honestly everything is about him and it's so fecking depressing but I've tried to be a good friend and be supportive and listen and even apologised for occasionally telling him he's a miserable fucker! Well anyway he's depressed and lonely and on the verge of getting involved with some awful woman but even this i tried to stay out of understanding he perhaps needs someone to get over his ex? but said woman has let him down loads and seems to be generally fucking him about so can you imagine how enraged i was when he said this phrase! "I'll be home at 5 I'll meet you there not sure how long I'll be about though because that girl said we might meet" Hmmm well i can deal with a lot and indeed when he had the g/f i dealt with being fitted in but fuck off am i ever playing second to some jumped up little bitch that's fucking him about anyway. Needless to say i let rip and told him to fuck himself and explained that you know i'm not being fitted in he either arranges to see me or not, unreasonable?
Well then we stopped talking till he text me about 9 saying "told you, you should have come over she cancelled on me" Fuck the man obviously has a death wish after some heated words he text " so i take it you're not coming over?" grrrrrr obviously this started me off again and then i got oh i can't do no right all you women just try making me feel shit none of the m care it's just all about how shit i make them feel i just wanted some affection and to feel worth something, obviously it made me feel bad and gave me the hump :-p but i apologised if i made him feel shit but explained that it works both ways and obviously if i didn't give a shit firstly it wouldn't bother me and secondly I'd just ignore it all :-/ any way worse still after that he text "so shall i come over?" ummmm no! fucking leave me the fuck alone for a few days! i get over things quickly but just wasn't happening tonight! He must have upset me even the thought of sex couldn't tempt me!

Mr A is single :-/

Hmmm so Mr  A is newly single and i'm not sure how i feel about it? I like that i don't have to feel guilt about fucking him but because i can fuck him at my leisure it's not so much fun :-o wow that makes me a real bitch! hmmmm he's got a tendency to be somewhat clingy too and i find myself  holding back to prevent this it makes me a little mean at times to make sure he realises that he's not what i want long term :-/ i don't mean to be though.

Oooooh more importantly i popped his anal cherry! He wasn't so keen :-/ ha ha he claims it was too much too soon and he just felt violated ha ha I've left him alone since but do not know if to try again or whether it was a definite keep the fuck away? He's not been near my ass since, i wonder if he fears if he does it i will?