Hotel sex ;-)

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enough with the touching!

So last night i went out with the love guy we went cinema and it was very nice, but he wrapped himself around myself like a girl! just um i don't even know! I guess if i were into him i'd like it? although i do struggle with PDA's but i can't even walk down the road without him touching me, either holding my hand or linking arms or just generally touching me, he gets in my way while i drive, it's just draining :-(
Am i being unreasonable? hmmm maybe :-p

Deleting the ex :-/

OK so this would be my first love :-/ Mr A i think he was last year we tried again things didn't work out we were in different places and he wanted marriage and children :-o So obviously as much as we're not really in each others lives we still chat maybe weekly and I'll always hold a special place for him :-D So this weekend he asked his Girlfriend to marry him? So i figure as just last week he told me as much as he loves her if it wasn't for the marriage and family he'd choose me :-/ I should delete him? for my sake and his? I admit I'm a bitch and he knows me better than anyone and even though we had sex when they first got together we haven't since but we've laid in bed wrapped around each other when I've felt shitty and just needed a hug and he's lovely but i really value the sanctity of marriage and think it really is for the best? So i am gonna do it! Watch for the angry response :-p It really is as much for him as me :-D He shouldn't let me use him for hugs and i shouldn't and it's never really going to be OK is it? So who knew that how the exes would disappear :-p one down um 5 to go maybe that I'm still in touch with? I should probably delete them all ha ha it's very unhealthy I'm sure :-p

Drinks with the greek?

Lol so i can't keep up with the Mr a,b,c etc. so figured I'd just stick to nick names :-D So this afternoon i went out with the love guy :-/ and every time i see him i feel more that i shouldn't be there and his texts annoy me he spells enjoy with an i :-/ not sexy :-p Spelling and grammar is important but hey the hotel is booked for the weekend so doing nothing till after that :-/ slutty i know :-p

This evening i went out with the part Greek foot fetish (perhaps) guy :-p We had a really nice time i thrashed his arse at pool :-p and then he asked what procrastinate means? Is that really an unusual word? hmmm might be a deal breaker :-p but we are going out during the week!

Completely over the French one (i think).

p.s. I am aware my grammar is just smiley faces :-p

Feeling slutty :-(

Hmmm so this week i have been a tad slutty and reached an all time low sleeping with the France man and a bit of flirting with an ex and awful horniness in general!

Well i am concentrating on the man in my life and yes technically i am going for drinks with another tomorrow evening but we'll be in public and i shouldn't actually be bad :-p

So man in my life, the one that is actually mine :-p has booked us a hotel so i figure if the sex isn't good that night it will defo be the end of us :-/ but i am holding off making a final decision till then :-p maybe a little unfair, well so everyone keeps telling me :-p but if the sex was good I'd happily stay :-/ he's pretty perfect and it wouldn't be the worse thing to settle with him.......

Anyway by feeling quite slutty it's controlled my horn which is a good thing i guess? I've not even masturbated today :-/

Back to France? ;-)

So I reached an all time low :-/

in my defence - crap sex with the french man Tues - crap sex with the love man Weds - and a day of filth with whomever would entertain me yesterday left me so horny i could barely think straight :-/

So last night about midnight i went over and fucked the french guy hmmm the sex was ok but not enough and he'd been out with someone else! I mean what sort of woman am i that i was ok to let him take someone else to dinner then fuck me anyway? WOW i feel pretty crappy about it, but have deleted him and am all in with the love guy, i know I've not been fair to him but he's crazy about me and he's mine and there is no game playing or insecurity there? he makes me feel good and i will work on the sex!

So i am over my slutty interlude although i have maybe agreed to go out with someone Sunday night ooops :-D

Car sex??

Hmmm so after finishing things with the France man Tuesday I went out with the love man Wednesday and decided i needed to know about the sex after the disaster of the alley sex and the issue of trying again. So if left to him he was all for booking a hotel and waiting but i felt i just needed to know? Sex was a breaking issue for me so i made sure i had a deviant kit in my car :-p tissues, condoms, handwash and baby wipes pmsl! and proceeded to drive him to a secluded spot and climbed on top of him and rode him :-/
This should have been good, shouldn't it? unfortunately it wasn't fully hard i don't think a bit like pushing a flump through a key hole :-( Don't get me wrong i find it pretty easy to get off and it wasn't totally awful but it also wasn't switch ya brain off fireworks type of sex :-p He did cum so i guess it's as good as it gets? i dunno we was in a car and there wasn't really space for much else :-/ maybe the hotel sex will be better - not ready to give up on him just yet :-p

But obviously my life's not that easy so there is more :-p

prostate massage anyone?

Lol so the man from France had been away all over Christmas and i had decided on him but the guy that said he loved me was so sweet that i agreed to try things with him too :-/

Saw the guy from France Tuesday and the sex was OK but not mind blowing so was pretty easy for me to tell him that i was bailing on us :-/ He'd found out this woman he liked in France liked him back and was considering trying there anyway so our post coital chit chat was all very amicable :-p

He let me lube up and probe his prostate but it just wasn't doing it for him so i think i maybe lost my magic mojo fingers :-p ha ha So we spoke about it and i think he perhaps needs to get comfortable with things himself so he can let go with me? Mr whatever letter was very comfortable with that and obviously found it really easy to be stimulated that way :-/ I enjoyed being able to make him lose control like that. :-D

Down to one!

So today i am down to one! How good am i! lol for now at least i am sticking to the guy i'm already with whom is in France! He's awesome in bed, teaching me things i didn't know and he's good to not bother me too much and he's agreed to let me strap him down and probe his prostate! PMSL let's be honest, what more could i ask for?
He does intimidate me a little, but i actually really like that about him, he's older and wiser and speaks french to me and yet is still innocent enough that i can teach him a thing or two :-p

No more i love you......

So after days of dithering and being a bitch and the man apologising for things that were not his fault and making me feel like i was kicking a fucking puppy, i broke things off with the guy who said he loved me? :-/ I don't really understand it myself :-/ he was perfect and crazy about me........Actually never thought i was too fucked up but today wondering if i'm more fucked up than i realised #50shadesoffuckedup :-( So apparently the best way to make me run is jump in with both feet! I mean fucking hell give me a shitty man who wants just sex and i'm so there but a guy who wants me and all that goes with it and it is not for me? how is that even the way to go?

So anyway he is gone the guy in France actually phoned last night and said he missed me and can't wait to see me when he gets back :-/ hoping he's just lonely and not about to get serious :-p

Oh god the friend of the ex he's got so many issues! but somehow i ended up agreeing to go out with him :-/ i'll be honest a massive part of it is that he tells me he has a massive dick and i wont walk straight for a week ;-)

I don't know i'm a little confused i thought i was ready for a relationship but perhaps i'm just ready for the idea of it.....

feck drunken sex down an alley?

Feck feck feck!

So after seeing this guy for weeks and weeks and weeks and not having sex and arranging to go away yesterday......Then throw in getting to the pub at lunchtime him telling me he loves me! (we'll come back to that) drinking copious amounts and a very drunk stroll home before drunken not enjoyable first time sex in an alley! Feck feck feck!!! As we can imagine i'm a little mortified and massively horny and not sure where to go from here?

Back to the whole L word thing, it's not appropriate lol i struggle with deep and meaningful but my friend says i'm crazy and should hang in there? :-/

Fuck i'm so good at sabotage let's also throw in that the other guy i'm seeing whom is in France text the other day to tell me he really missed me and we need to talk when he gets back!

Right so no danger with the rest of them i'm fucking all the rest off and i'm down to two but how do i choose? i was hoping the sex would decide but it was bad but we were so drunk that we shouldn't have bothered :-/  but is that a good enough excuse because i have had some awesome drunken sex? Fuck fuck fuck fuck

I feel properly slutty today and i got mud in unmentionable places oh and i fell over and broke my knee :-p

FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCKITY FUCK