Catch up

Hmmm so things are completely over with the French one and i feel good about it now, obviously it's taken a few weeks but we were never going anywhere so eventually it had to be over so one pathetic fight too many and both of us throwing our toys out the pram followed by a stubbornness neither of us is willing to break :-p

Next order of business - my little muse? i maybe got caught up in some filth with him :-/ i know i swore off him! and i did delete him but he got in touch? and well single and horny and I'm a slave to my hormones there in lies my problem :-/ Add to that my life being in the air and my inability to start something new just now and saying no is not going to happen.

So my little muse this is your warning, i will not be the one to keep us honest, indeed i intend to actively encourage you to fuck me till I'm sore? There was a time i imagined myself to be a little in love with you that i just wanted you to be happy and if she did that for you i intended to leave you to it but by this stage it's firmly lust and fuck the consequences lets have dirty inappropriate sex at every given opportunity! Or if you don't want to, then steer clear my little lovely.

Risks of anal sex?

So I've always been quite partial to a bit of anal, although more so if I'm with someone who likes it obviously :-) It is pretty nice... So after having a bit of anal the other day, i was left a little sore from not enough lube :-p Don't get me wrong it was awesome at the time, very sensitive and just really good! After though i was left a little bloody and sore for a few days :-/ well now it hurts to poop but otherwise I'm good! So it got me to wondering whether large amounts of anal can be bad for you? We do anal pretty much every time, well both :-p I'm guessing gay men do anal all the time? and suffer no dire consequences? So surely it's OK to have large amounts of anal? I like it a lot and don't want to give it up :-) so I'm not going to :-p but just wondered if anyone knew? I have done some research and it seems to be OK :-D

The French one :-p double penetration :-)

PMSL i was pissed off last week wasn't i? Ha ha ha obviously we're over it :-p and back to having sex :-p I know i shouldn't be :-/ It's gonna hurt :-( but i can't stay away from him :-/ I don't even know why? He treats me like shit, The sex is good but a bit hit and miss and he's so not what i want :-? and he's old :-p
Maybe i just need a replacement :-/ Phew I dunno?

On a brighter note the other day I took my vibrator along for one of our office trysts ;-) and got a bit of double penetration going on :-) It was pretty awesome but over quickly ;-) I'm torn between wanting more and the feeling that it's pretty awesome for someone to lose control that quickly :-D Anyway next time i think we need double penetration without the vibration as i think that's what tipped him over the edge :-D

Fighting with the French one :-(

Hmmm so this morning the French one phoned me and asked for the number of the sex clinic? Now clearly I took this as "you need to get yourself tested" wow not what I needed first thing and definitely a mere 2 months after getting tested, might I say then because he had fucked about too! For feck sake he's an arse and worse than all this I didn't get sorry I made you feel crap! I got you're over reacting, you're a hypocrite and you're just as bad! I mean I'm not wishing bad on him but I wouldn't waste my piss fucking fucktard and yes more fool me for putting up with it :-/ Hmmm feeling better already :-p guess this just sex is not working for me, I cared far too much today and that cut deep :-( So I am swearing off men for a bit - Anything less than amazing will be passed by :-)

Another one bites the dust :-p

Lol not as deviant as it may seem :-p My little muse asked his g/f to marry him so i obviously deleted him from my shit lol - he is the one whom suggested this blog and it's been a strange between us but no mutual Internet masturbation or anything lately ;-) quite right too :-/ but well now he is completely off bounds and surplus to requirement :-p he he and the french one did ask me to do it before and i refused for the principle of it but everyone's happy now :-D
So my little muse or Mr B i think you were :-/ I wish you every happiness and hope your life is perfect :-) I'm sorry i deleted you but we both know it's for the best, and well, yes i deleted you but communication works both ways and i haven't blocked you :-p So if one day you're single and horny hit me up :-p he he
Until next time we'll always have the blog :-p
Oh and i found your DVD i shall treasure it ;-)

friends to sex to friends to complications :-p

So since last time with the french one we have been having sex to back to friends to more sex to just friends to who the feck knows :-/ The sex is pretty awesome but with all this friend shit things just feel complicated :-p It's like being his g/f with all the shit and none of the fun stuff.
I get to listen to his moaning for sporadic sex :-/ and as we're under the guise of friendship i can't refuse :-/ oh i dunno
Anyway moved onto a new man, we'll call him Mr spurs as he's a fan :-p so we've been out a couple of times had great fun early indications are pretty good :-) Seeing him tomorrow :-) Um we'll see :-)
Only worry is that he's half Greek too :-/ and obviously other one was Greek and i know they're definitely not brothers but perhaps cousins or who knows :-o ha ha ha or hopefully just nothing to each other as that could be awkward :-p

Can Fuck buddies be actual buddies?

Hmmmm so the French one seems to imagine we can be actual friends and fuck whilst fucking others? I'm not sure if this can work? It seems to at the moment? but i worry I'm gonna come out of this a little worse for wear?
So i think having just sex with someone can work if you can separate the emotional responses and to do that i think you need some distance? You can't expect me to be your friend and also expect me not to give a shit can you?
Anyway this comes from the French one inviting me over because he wanted some company which was OK, i went over we sprawled on the sofa chatting obviously eventually we had sex :-p {pretty awesome sex too might i add!} then we snuggled on the sofa and watched a movie. I was just about OK with this ya know was a bit overly intimate but fuck even i like it on occasion. Anyway following day he had some pretty big news and i was the first person he phoned? What does that mean? surely i shouldn't be the first one in his thoughts? I worry he's overly invested here :-/ but let's not forget he's still seeing the g/f and others :-p as am i :-p so is it OK to share intimacy and secrets and good news if it works for us? Can we be actual fuck buddies???
Answers on a postcard? I need advice :-)

The French one :-/

So fuck it i fucked the French one yesterday! I know i wasn't going to but i can't help myself! and i know he's attached now, but i actually don't care and i hate that I'm "that" girl but shit the sex is awesome and there's no stress there? Granted the stress of us both being attached elsewhere is there but there's no pressure to put up with each others shit it's really nice to just fuck him.....I can't help myself? oh well eventually I'll decide I've had enough or he will :-p but for now the back of his shop has become a risky den of debauchery ;-) ........

Round two, with the Greek....

OK so as the man has got a really nice cock, i decided it would be rude not to do round two with the Greek.....just to be sure......Well the sex was pretty awesome......bit rougher than I'm used to but i liked it :-D
So many issues though i don't even know where to start.....So obviously after the other night with rushed sex on the sofa. I suggested making it to a bedroom might be a good start what i didn't expect is that he'd be in the process of moving rooms and that we'd end up in bunk beds :-/ pmsl you can imagine it was a little off putting not to mention only a video player in that room and for some reason he needed to put something on and somehow decided on Mrs doubtfire? So i had sex in bunk beds to Mrs doubtfire? I was laughing quite a lot I'm afraid i felt like a teenager sneaking about :-p The man also collects action figures and numerous other toys he actually has a room just full of toys :-/ not awesome sex toys either :-p no geeky comic figures in boxes :-/ although i guess I'm a bit geeky and quite liked them but not the bunk beds! but back to the sex!.....
So we got down to it.....once again can i just say....really nice cock! Quite a hairy man though anyway he fucked me hard whilst pulling my hair hard pretty nice there was also some spanking, scratching no biting I'm happy to say but there was some pressure applied to my throat now i didn't mind it wasn't much but it does make me wonder if he's working up to it? Also after when he asked if he hurt me and i said no, i think there may have been a hint of disappointment :-/ a little disturbing but may just be me......anyway he cum it was great he then spent the next 20 minutes or so playing with my vajayjay whilst i just laid back and enjoyed it :-P then he fucked me again and again about half hour later.....lol he was very impressed i could cum by being fucked alone ;-) ha ha most men find sex with me quite flattering because I'm easy to get off lol but i love it......
Hmm so great sex but in bunk beds? Can i get over that trauma? ......

Sex with the Greek :-/

Hmmmm so this week i decided to take the Greek by the horn :-p So this is not helped by the fact that I'm not masturbating and I'm so horny i can barely think straight and the French one is away.... although i have deleted him and he can go fuck himself anyway... Anyway back to the Greek I went over to his house we sprawled on the sofa and watched a movie...his lodger was there in his room so we behaved during the movie....Once it finished we ended up naked on the sofa ooops may have been a little my fault anyway it was rubbish selfish over too quickly sex although the man has got a really nice cock! More girth than I've had for such a long time ;-) he he he so he shows promise but it was over quickly and definitely more about him than me and well i struggle to find enthusiasm after crappy sex :-/ So I am feeling a little slutty after being on my 3rd sexual partner of the year and it's only February but figure as i didn't have sex at all until the French guy last year then it doesn't really count and I'll average it out :-p ha ha 

oh and also the Greek is really hairy :-/

So anyway i think I'm wiping the slate clear and starting again after fucking off the love guy, deleting the French guy and maybe giving up on the Greek?

I'm so sick of crappy selfish fucktard men! Do you know i have slept with 3 men this year yet not had cunnilingus? That's surely a sign that I'm dating the wrong ones? Just saying I've given a shit load of fellatio ;-)

Risky sex in the office!

So after 5 days of not masturbating i was so horny i woke with my fingers up my vajayjay! Shocking behaviour so to save masturbating i thought sex might be the way to go ;-) ha ha but after texting the french guy and not getting an instant reply i took myself to the gym for some punishment! Needless to say all that moving just made me horny so when the french guy text "get that wet pussy here and let me ram it!" I almost fell off the cross trainer but i resisted, well for an hour then yes, i came home chucked on a skirt and proceeded to his shop :-D Where he put some porn on the computer and slid his fingers up my vajayjay! I cum almost instantly so he put the back in five mins sign up locked the door and bent me over the desk in front of the porn! So hot, the man does it for me, what can i say.
Anyway clearly after i was done i sat feet an the desk with him sliding fingers in my vajayjay every time he passed :-D so horny till he was due a customer in about ten mins, when he grabbed my hand hoisted me onto the sideboard and fucked me hard, the door was not locked and we would have had to be quick if anyone came in but it was such a turn on.

Hmmmm so then this morning he phoned to ask if I'd watch his shop while he went to pick the g/f up from the airport :-/ ha ha i know I'm a bitch but even i felt a bit bad :-o until i got there and he pushed a finger up my vajayjay proceeded to fuck me then left for the airport and brought the g/f in to meet me :-/ and tried to kiss me out back while she was in the front of the shop! Even i think he's a bit of a tosser for that.

Also on Monday i have agreed to go over to the Greeks house to watch a movie, pretty sure sex with him, if it's good, will stop me being bad with the french guy............

Masturbation diet?

Hmmmm so to aid my new fitness kick i am on a masturbation diet :-/ I have not masturbated since Sunday! Anyone that knows me will know this is amazing! It is very nearly killing me though i have been to the gym everyday and punished myself in the hope of just being to knackered :-o but it is not working i am doing aversion therapy now ha ha 10 sit ups every time i think of sex - needless to say my abs are killing me! On the bright side ummm no there's not one :-(

broken up with the love guy!!

Chill people! Let's make it clear that things are all over with the love guy! ha ha sorry i should have checked what i last wrote :-o but fear not we are all finished and i was perfectly available to fuck someone else :-p

4 hours of sex? :-o

OK so Saturday i went to a singles night (as ya do) needless to say it was a disaster full of pervy old men with comb overs :-/ So i decided alcohol was the answer :-o (it never is). I got quite drunk and phoned the French guy (feckity feck) anyway 10 minutes later he picked me up took me back to his laid me on the kitchen counter and went to town on me (including violation with a courgette :-/) anyway it was a pretty awesome night 4 hours of pretty much consistent sex other than the odd wine and toilet breaks oh and courgette breaks OMG I'm actually a little mortified to admit to that :-o
Next day i ached so much though! god knees, ribs, thighs and shoulders were ruined but so worth it.
So now i'm not sure what to do about the French guy? I quite like him, mainly because he's a bastard and i can't have him :-/ grrrr he drives me crazy.

Hotel sex ;-)

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enough with the touching!

So last night i went out with the love guy we went cinema and it was very nice, but he wrapped himself around myself like a girl! just um i don't even know! I guess if i were into him i'd like it? although i do struggle with PDA's but i can't even walk down the road without him touching me, either holding my hand or linking arms or just generally touching me, he gets in my way while i drive, it's just draining :-(
Am i being unreasonable? hmmm maybe :-p

Deleting the ex :-/

OK so this would be my first love :-/ Mr A i think he was last year we tried again things didn't work out we were in different places and he wanted marriage and children :-o So obviously as much as we're not really in each others lives we still chat maybe weekly and I'll always hold a special place for him :-D So this weekend he asked his Girlfriend to marry him? So i figure as just last week he told me as much as he loves her if it wasn't for the marriage and family he'd choose me :-/ I should delete him? for my sake and his? I admit I'm a bitch and he knows me better than anyone and even though we had sex when they first got together we haven't since but we've laid in bed wrapped around each other when I've felt shitty and just needed a hug and he's lovely but i really value the sanctity of marriage and think it really is for the best? So i am gonna do it! Watch for the angry response :-p It really is as much for him as me :-D He shouldn't let me use him for hugs and i shouldn't and it's never really going to be OK is it? So who knew that how the exes would disappear :-p one down um 5 to go maybe that I'm still in touch with? I should probably delete them all ha ha it's very unhealthy I'm sure :-p

Drinks with the greek?

Lol so i can't keep up with the Mr a,b,c etc. so figured I'd just stick to nick names :-D So this afternoon i went out with the love guy :-/ and every time i see him i feel more that i shouldn't be there and his texts annoy me he spells enjoy with an i :-/ not sexy :-p Spelling and grammar is important but hey the hotel is booked for the weekend so doing nothing till after that :-/ slutty i know :-p

This evening i went out with the part Greek foot fetish (perhaps) guy :-p We had a really nice time i thrashed his arse at pool :-p and then he asked what procrastinate means? Is that really an unusual word? hmmm might be a deal breaker :-p but we are going out during the week!

Completely over the French one (i think).

p.s. I am aware my grammar is just smiley faces :-p

Feeling slutty :-(

Hmmm so this week i have been a tad slutty and reached an all time low sleeping with the France man and a bit of flirting with an ex and awful horniness in general!

Well i am concentrating on the man in my life and yes technically i am going for drinks with another tomorrow evening but we'll be in public and i shouldn't actually be bad :-p

So man in my life, the one that is actually mine :-p has booked us a hotel so i figure if the sex isn't good that night it will defo be the end of us :-/ but i am holding off making a final decision till then :-p maybe a little unfair, well so everyone keeps telling me :-p but if the sex was good I'd happily stay :-/ he's pretty perfect and it wouldn't be the worse thing to settle with him.......

Anyway by feeling quite slutty it's controlled my horn which is a good thing i guess? I've not even masturbated today :-/

Back to France? ;-)

So I reached an all time low :-/

in my defence - crap sex with the french man Tues - crap sex with the love man Weds - and a day of filth with whomever would entertain me yesterday left me so horny i could barely think straight :-/

So last night about midnight i went over and fucked the french guy hmmm the sex was ok but not enough and he'd been out with someone else! I mean what sort of woman am i that i was ok to let him take someone else to dinner then fuck me anyway? WOW i feel pretty crappy about it, but have deleted him and am all in with the love guy, i know I've not been fair to him but he's crazy about me and he's mine and there is no game playing or insecurity there? he makes me feel good and i will work on the sex!

So i am over my slutty interlude although i have maybe agreed to go out with someone Sunday night ooops :-D

Car sex??

Hmmm so after finishing things with the France man Tuesday I went out with the love man Wednesday and decided i needed to know about the sex after the disaster of the alley sex and the issue of trying again. So if left to him he was all for booking a hotel and waiting but i felt i just needed to know? Sex was a breaking issue for me so i made sure i had a deviant kit in my car :-p tissues, condoms, handwash and baby wipes pmsl! and proceeded to drive him to a secluded spot and climbed on top of him and rode him :-/
This should have been good, shouldn't it? unfortunately it wasn't fully hard i don't think a bit like pushing a flump through a key hole :-( Don't get me wrong i find it pretty easy to get off and it wasn't totally awful but it also wasn't switch ya brain off fireworks type of sex :-p He did cum so i guess it's as good as it gets? i dunno we was in a car and there wasn't really space for much else :-/ maybe the hotel sex will be better - not ready to give up on him just yet :-p

But obviously my life's not that easy so there is more :-p

prostate massage anyone?

Lol so the man from France had been away all over Christmas and i had decided on him but the guy that said he loved me was so sweet that i agreed to try things with him too :-/

Saw the guy from France Tuesday and the sex was OK but not mind blowing so was pretty easy for me to tell him that i was bailing on us :-/ He'd found out this woman he liked in France liked him back and was considering trying there anyway so our post coital chit chat was all very amicable :-p

He let me lube up and probe his prostate but it just wasn't doing it for him so i think i maybe lost my magic mojo fingers :-p ha ha So we spoke about it and i think he perhaps needs to get comfortable with things himself so he can let go with me? Mr whatever letter was very comfortable with that and obviously found it really easy to be stimulated that way :-/ I enjoyed being able to make him lose control like that. :-D

Down to one!

So today i am down to one! How good am i! lol for now at least i am sticking to the guy i'm already with whom is in France! He's awesome in bed, teaching me things i didn't know and he's good to not bother me too much and he's agreed to let me strap him down and probe his prostate! PMSL let's be honest, what more could i ask for?
He does intimidate me a little, but i actually really like that about him, he's older and wiser and speaks french to me and yet is still innocent enough that i can teach him a thing or two :-p

No more i love you......

So after days of dithering and being a bitch and the man apologising for things that were not his fault and making me feel like i was kicking a fucking puppy, i broke things off with the guy who said he loved me? :-/ I don't really understand it myself :-/ he was perfect and crazy about me........Actually never thought i was too fucked up but today wondering if i'm more fucked up than i realised #50shadesoffuckedup :-( So apparently the best way to make me run is jump in with both feet! I mean fucking hell give me a shitty man who wants just sex and i'm so there but a guy who wants me and all that goes with it and it is not for me? how is that even the way to go?

So anyway he is gone the guy in France actually phoned last night and said he missed me and can't wait to see me when he gets back :-/ hoping he's just lonely and not about to get serious :-p

Oh god the friend of the ex he's got so many issues! but somehow i ended up agreeing to go out with him :-/ i'll be honest a massive part of it is that he tells me he has a massive dick and i wont walk straight for a week ;-)

I don't know i'm a little confused i thought i was ready for a relationship but perhaps i'm just ready for the idea of it.....

feck drunken sex down an alley?

Feck feck feck!

So after seeing this guy for weeks and weeks and weeks and not having sex and arranging to go away yesterday......Then throw in getting to the pub at lunchtime him telling me he loves me! (we'll come back to that) drinking copious amounts and a very drunk stroll home before drunken not enjoyable first time sex in an alley! Feck feck feck!!! As we can imagine i'm a little mortified and massively horny and not sure where to go from here?

Back to the whole L word thing, it's not appropriate lol i struggle with deep and meaningful but my friend says i'm crazy and should hang in there? :-/

Fuck i'm so good at sabotage let's also throw in that the other guy i'm seeing whom is in France text the other day to tell me he really missed me and we need to talk when he gets back!

Right so no danger with the rest of them i'm fucking all the rest off and i'm down to two but how do i choose? i was hoping the sex would decide but it was bad but we were so drunk that we shouldn't have bothered :-/  but is that a good enough excuse because i have had some awesome drunken sex? Fuck fuck fuck fuck

I feel properly slutty today and i got mud in unmentionable places oh and i fell over and broke my knee :-p

FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCKITY FUCK