ooops

ooops so today I'm in trouble :-p the man in my life is being a massive arse!

Give me your thoughts people, am i in the wrong?

So this evening i had an ex over for dinner? There's nothing between us other than friendship, he's got a lovely girlfriend and we've been over for over ten years! We've perhaps had the odd bit of flirting but nothing has ever happened and i truly don't believe it would. So i think the man in my life was OK with this, i think he had issue with the fact that he came over early and spent time with the kids (something i have yet to allow him to do) but like i say we've known each other what um 16 years and we're still friends so he's not someone that's going to drift out my life and he's allowed around the kids because we are completely non romantic? grrrrr stooopid men :-p i know he has issues with me being close to some of my exes but really get over it! I know you hate me blogging too he's banned me from blogging about him hence the silence but I'm peeved grrrr If i wanted to go elsewhere i pissing well would.

Hmmm meeting the ex :-)

So what is better than seeing your ex when you're looking hot and they look crap? Well i thought this was all i needed but today i met an ex and i looked good! not that i ever don't :-p He looked not bad i guess but his present girlfriend, bless her, looked properly rough! lol greasy hair, no make up and in joggers :-) We stopped and chatted and it was obvious she was hating god for the meeting lol I know i shouldn't enjoy this as much as i did but well! i can't help it :-p

Very cross

Hmmm so as you may realise the new "man in my life" raped my blog! how very dare you! In future if I'm running late you will be waiting outside in your car and not allowed on my laptop and no it doesn't make it better that you were just checking my blog and it automatically signed in! Privacy is key here! oh and you will always just be "the man in my life" :-p

So last night i went out with said guy I'd already had a bit to drink and was running quite late so he came in to wait and asked to check his e-mail (not something i will allow in future!) where he then took advantage of the fact that my laptop is set up for my ease! grrrrr i am quite pissed about this but moving on. when i was ready i came downstairs and he appeared at the bottom. He stopped me a few stairs above reached up my dress and removed my knickers and pocketed them, where i believe they still are :-) Then he proceeded to ravage my pussy, as i stood above him with my thigh over his shoulder i thought i was going to collapse and he fecking stopped, pulled my dress down and took my hand and led me to the car! i was so pissed but obviously i got in the car waited till we were moving and proceeded to finish myself off lol I'm surprised he didn't kill us his eyes were clearly not on the road.
Anyway that set the tone of the evening with us both ensuring the other was in a constant state of arousal :-) Was pretty awesome except he kept chuckling away to himself and finally admitted what he'd done to my blog! This obviously caused me to be properly pissed off, although now I've read it I'm not oh so bothered, fecking cheek.
Needless to say sex did not finish the evening and indeed sex is not an option anytime soon! You my dear are going to learn just how badly you can want something and your punishment will be long and drawn out last night was but a drop in the ocean :-p I'm looking forward to keeping "the man in my life" constantly horny without release for at least the next month :-) You men are like children and you need to learn your boundaries, this is like adult grounding, you will learn.

punish!

So my new boyfriend, yes i said boyfriend! putting it out there, is amazing and has a massive cock that i worry is too big not a chance something that size would make it up my anal orifice but I'll give it a go. He is by far the best guy i have ever met and he's so much better than my ex i think i love him and will marry him.

ha ha ha how much trouble!

more sincere :-)

OK so i was thoroughly scolded for the mention of the gorgeous man in my life and reminded that his deviancy was sealed a few days ago when we went for drinks and he pulled me into a dark alley to eat my pussy hence the fact i know he's awesome with his tongue :-)

So this evening i want to say thank you to the gorgeous man for ignoring me when i said i was fine as i clearly wasn't and for risking my wrath by forcing my hand and making me introduce him to my children (mainly forgiven here because they were in bed don't make a habit of it :-p) when he turned up on my doorstep bearing chocolate uninvited this evening it was lovely to see you and i really appreciated you being here.

So sorry!

LOL so today my blog is the platform for an apology ha ha after earlier talking to the man in my life before someone knocked at my door about six this was when i closed my laptop and totally forgot! in my defence i then got caught up doing other things :-D

So obviously he's a little put out that i haven't given him a mention in here so I'm hoping to placate him since by the time i got back on line he'd given up talking to me :-/

Ha ha ha i can't help but laugh and i still hold up that actually he needs to be more deviant for me to give him blog time but hey ho here goes;

New man is gorgeous, over six foot towers over me but i quite like it :-) awesome with his tongue and a massive cock although we've not actually had sex yet so I'm with holding judgement ooooh and most exciting of all an anal virgin :-D pmsl what do we think babe kind of mention you wanted? oh and of course he's much better than any of the past men in my life :-D

uniform

Hmmmm so as i sit watching A few good men and Tom Cruise in uniform i can't help but feel a stirring in my vajayjay and it gets me to thinking that i want a man in uniform! So i have a new mission to find one but shhhhh don't tell the man in my life :-) i might just convince him to buy one :-D

embarrassed?!

OK so I've not masturbated properly for 2 weeks! well i hadn't but have just sorted that :-)

Anyway i had my mum staying for the past 2 weeks and the first week wasn't too bad i didn't really think about it but week 2 was spent in a caravan surrounded by people with no opportunity to cop off properly the odd fiddle was about all i managed! Anyway my embarrassment came in the form of part way through the second week i woke with my fingers up my vajayjay! on top of this i was sharing a bed with my mum :-/ fortunately she wasn't in the bed when i woke but i can't be sure this wasn't what drove her out! :-o note to self do not deprive oneself of masturbation. :-p

A fresh approach?

So yesterday i went on yet another coffee date with another guy of the Internet and i must say I'm a little sick of it! So I'm thinking perhaps i should change my online profile to something like this:-

Rampant female seeks horny male for an abundance of sex
No strings sex. After months of Internet dating i have realised that i am not ready for the deep and meaningful stuff but i am still so horny, therefore, i don't give a shit about your day or how badly your ex fucked you up or indeed any other shit in your past present or future. i don't want to integrate you into my life or let you meet my family friends or children or vice versa.
You must be willing to let me use you for lots of sex without complaint and be willing to try any number of sexual activities that i wish to partake in. In return i will also make myself available for sex within reason whenever you want it. i will happily let you watch sports or whatever else you like as long as you are hard and i can get myself off on you and i will willingly try any sexual activities you suggest as long as they don't involve pain! (i don't want bull whipping)
You need not apply if you are old, fat, ugly or emotionally stunted.

What do we think people? sending the wrong message?

More hitachi :-D

Hmm so today a certain someone on twitter gave me an idea what to blog about! Thank you :-D

So this is again about my Hitachi I'm thinking this one deserves some airtime :-p

Now let's set the scene a chair at the end of the bed, restraints attached and my man strapped to it, naked. Whilst i, I'm thinking dressed in a basque with stockings and suspenders and extremely high heels kiss him thoroughly before sucking, licking, nibbling and kissing my way down his neck, his chest, his belly, his thighs and moving to suck his hard cock, sucking, licking and nibbling his cock till he's so ready to cum. Then I'll stop, spread myself on the bed and get my Hitachi magic wand out and proceed to play with myself, massaging my clit with my Hitachi delving my fingers in my wet pussy and maybe inserting a vibrator up my arse too. mmmm I'm so wet and horny watching him want me and struggle against the restraints wanting me, watching as i make myself cum! Yum :-D

Deviant enough?

Hitachi magic wand :-D

Hmmmm didn't know what to blog about and then i remembered that i hadn't mentioned my magic wand! As this is my best friend i thought it probably deserves a mention :-D

I first heard of this a few years back on sex and the city and had often thought about buying one but until about a year ago I'd never got round to it, for those of you that don't know it is a mains operated vibrator, sold as a massager :-) Anyway my friend ordered one and raved about it so obviously not one to be left out, i had to order one too they cost about £50 i think, so worth the money! It is without a doubt the best sex toy in existence (well that I've found at least). Two power settings which at first i could barely cope with the lowest setting but now i can go some on the higher setting :-) It's pretty intense though and i sometimes worry that I'm going to desensitise myself but well I'm not going without :-) They sell attachments to fit onto it that i think i might like though, some variety :-)

I love masturbating!

Bucket list?

Hmmm so tonight i was talking of a bucket list and thought i should make one, then i thought of you guys and thought i should make a sex bucket list? I'm struggling though? most of the things I've wanted to do I've pretty much done but I'm giving it some thought and figure this will be a work in progress here are a few to start!

1. Get a man to fuck an apple pie
2. Fuck a man whilst he's driving ( perhaps unrealistic but hey I'd like to try)
3. Join the mile high club!
4. A foray into bondage
5. Hmmmm I'm not sure the other stuff is meant to be more than fantasy? (the likes of sex with a woman, a threesome, going to a sex club) I'll give it some thought?

Always deviant?

Hmm so today i was chatting to my first serious boyfriend, i was um 16 i think when we met we were together about 18 months we were engaged and living together until i met my husband :-/ Anyway obviously we were very young and we were having a good time, lots of drugs and alcohol were involved needless to say my memory of that time is somewhat hazy. There's so much we don't remember today it occurred to me i couldn't even remember how we met? Fortunately he remembered :-p So i always thought my deviancy was something that came with age, I've always loved sex but just assumed it was pretty run of the mill back then. I was shocked to hear apparently this wasn't totally true :-o Lol i can't even remember some of the stuff so I'm not sure? maybe he's just mixing me up with someone else :-p ha ha obviously it was still quite tame but there was quite a lot of outdoor sex some of which i recall and also some role play :-p who knew i would have done that back then :-p So this brings me to thinking about how your opinions change over the years, i mean oral sex is pretty horrifying when you're young but now i wouldn't live without! although I've always been a great fan? I actually love giving oral it makes me oh so horny and anal sex i didn't do that till well into my 20's and would have been mortified to be asked but now i actively encourage it ha ha hmmm what else? Sex toys, i didn't own one till i was about 21? now i have a drawer full :-p speaking of which i might take myself off and indulge :-D

Riding a hard cock!

OK today i am so horny i can't think of anything else all i can imagine is that feeling of riding a hard cock feeling it slide in and out of my wet pussy, feeling ball bags and hairy thighs against my bum! I really need to fuck a cock hard and thoroughly today. :-/

Hmmm I am horny to the point of distraction i just need a good, hard, rough fucking. I almost want to cry.

The deed is done!

So this evening after some rather stilted online chat i couldn't help but bring up our issues! Obviously i then phoned him and finished it off because even I'm not bastard enough to do it online :-p although phone wasn't much better but i felt leaving it till the weekend wasn't any better, so it's done! Wow i feel crap though he was completely shocked he said? Didn't expect it at all :-( damn i thought he was having doubts too, although i guess i knew he was willing to ignore it all by his puppy dog eagerness :-p Fuck it's shitty.

breaking up?

Hmmm so i have finally decided i need to break up with the new guy, he deserves better and he's so nice and i don't want to destroy that by being a bitch, which i already have been by sticking at something that i knew wasn't there and even now I'm putting off telling him. :-/

So Friday we spent the day together and it was awesome we had loads of fun strolling down the beach, lunch, pool, arcades and just generally acting like children. It was lovely and i was even OK with the PDA but at the end of it i wasn't horny it was just nice i was happy for it to end? So that decided me that even with sex this isn't getting any better so as horny as i am i have to stop this before the sex and this weekend we're going out and i have no kids and i think the general understanding is that we probably will but i can't! God i hate it! He's super nice. I wish i didn't need something more. :-/

So general advice as to how to best do this would be great! Do i leave it till i see him in person at the weekend or do i just bite the bullet and do it sooner? already talking to him this evening was strained?

death by masturbation?

I'm almost too embarrassed to tell you this! but i know you'd want to know :-p So the hot weather is gorgeous it makes me horny and therefore i wear skirts without knickers :-o shocking i know but i like it. So because i was in a skirt and knickerless i couldn't help my wondering hands, unfortunately i was driving at the time! I know i shouldn't but i did without even thinking about it, anyway i was absently fiddling away when i started to get a little too turned on i was pretty close so thought i better stop but my mind wouldn't stop so i carried on with dirty thoughts and a bit of vibration in the car and i was gone! Really nearly killed myself took every ounce of self control to pull my car over safely! It was good though :-) But it has left me thinking "No more masturbation whilst driving" I mean what  if i had of crashed? can you imagine my parent's and children's shame at finding i died with my fingers up my pussy? whilst driving and knickerless with my skirt round my waist. I'm such a deviant :-/

should i be worried?

Hmmm so i have hundreds of hang ups but i think by making others aware of them they become an issue so i therefor hide them well! After getting into a bit of dirty talk with the man in my life things were going ok, we were both still a little cautious as you are early on, we were still testing the boundaries. Um so he seemed ok until we got round to him telling me a story as you do :-p and well he's not very good at it? do we think this is an indication of what's to come?

Dirty talk pointers:

Don't ask if you can use a word!
Do make it all about the other person, i want to hear what you're going to do to me not what you want!
Drag it out!
Don't use the words groping! (so not sexy) manhood! (too romance novel) or gushing! (too porn mag).
Even if you're not used to doing it, first rule is, confidence is sexy! So yes i might be shocked that you tell me you want to stick your tongue deep into my wet pussy and feel me cum on your tongue! but i'll get over it and more than that it'll get me horny!
Obviously work up to this, set some boundaries feel the lay of the ground as to how bad it should be

scared?

OK so i think i scared the man in my life tonight? we sort of got a little heated on instant messenger and well one thing led to another and before i could stop it I'd expressed my desire for some light bondage and the strap on :-/ he was a bit lukewarm about both ideas?? actually a little frightened sounding! ha ha ha oh well let the games and gentle persuasion begin :-) let's be honest you guys are useless at saying no while we're giving blow jobs :-D but what if he doesn't come round? hmmm this could spell the end for us :-/ We'll see how it goes.

anyone for corn on the cob?

I'm so fucking horny I'd possibly go out and shag a dog just now :-p abstaining from the new man is taking it's toll especially after last night at the cinema when him rubbing my thigh nearly made me cum followed by some online filth :-p topped with ample porn! The suggestion of sticking a corn on the cob up my vajayjay is just a step too far!

O a serious note though I've never been one for inserting food into orifices although i did once masturbate with a cucumber? not what i thought it would be :-p curiosity more than anything else :-p and i had a horror story from a friend who lost a banana up there and the search for it by her boyfriend was not the romance they expected lol but saying that i like the idea of the apple pie and think the girth and texture of a warm cob could be worth a go hmmm dinner and dessert? :-D shitting hell I'm horny! grrr

growing on me :-D

So the man who i wasn't sure on is growing on me? He kisses beautifully and no i don't forget where i am but they're still really good and tonight i came away from him as horny as hell after almost thinking fuck waiting and fucking him in my car but i resisted and this evening we spoke of going away for the weekend in a few weeks when we will obviously get around to the sex part? This is actually a really lovely way to go about this i feel? to actually plan to go away to make that first time (not that we're virgins :-p) together special. I've never done this before i usually wait but it just sort of eventually happens and this time i was determined to wait as i slept with my ex on the second date and if I'm honest it wasn't special and it made me feel a little slutty and it obviously didn't go well and i get quite caught up in sex once i have it! so abstinence it is! I have got to the stage where him rubbing my thigh at the cinema actually almost made me cum! So horny! i could cry :-/

chipper?

ha ha so i've been stuck for things to blog about but am today feeling decidedly chipper. :-) think maybe the man in my life really is growing on me :-p

Spectacular :-D

So I've been giving some thought to whether i was expecting too much too early on?

I've decided no! i think if it's right you just know? If you don't then it's just not right and you're fooling yourself to think it ever will be.

I thought back to when i met my husband and i knew instantly, i was living with someone when we met, i met him on Thursday we had a night out with friends on Friday and Saturday i went home and finished things with my boyfriend and Sunday he put his arms around me and kissed me and the world disappeared and i felt safe and nothing else mattered? I knew he was what i wanted i gave up everything for him my flat, my boyfriend, some friends but he was my world and so yes that is what i want! and the ex even things weren't perfect but still despite the fact that i don't really do PDA he made me not care when he kissed me nothing else mattered and yes granted lots of that was because he made me horny as hell but still he had that effect on me.

So i want someone that makes my tummy turn when i see them or hear their voice and that makes everything else fade away. if it doesn't start that way it's not good enough.

Saying that I'm still seeing the guy from last week and his puppy dog enthusiasm is quite cute :-p

second date

Tonight i went on a second date with the man from last week and it was nice we chatted away things were OK um i had a nice time he walked me to my car and kissed me and the kiss was nice but that was it? He's got very soft lips :-p I'm trying really hard! What is the problem?

I'm going to see him again because well we get on well enough and I've got nothing better at the moment :-p which is quite mean, i know, but he might grow on me? I don't know, he deserves better!

So what am i after? i don't know i guess that feeling that the rest of the world disappears when he touches me? That feeling that i never want it to end? Is it just too early for that? should you always feel that or is it something that grows? I think maybe the ex made me feel like this but there was alcohol involved and we'd been talking a lot before? or maybe I'm just over romanticising it? and well let's be honest even if it's true it still didn't go great?

I don't know anymore? sick of dating :-p

Ticking all the right boxes?

So today i went for dinner with the guy i met for drinks yesterday (i cancelled the other guy) and it was a bit of a disaster :-/ How can someone be so perfect on paper but still not be for you? This guy ticks all my boxes but there's nothing there? Hmmm depressed thinking I'm giving up on Internet dating for a while although i am going out tomorrow with the guy from last week but i don't hold much hope as he doesn't tick any boxes :-p lol I'm so mean and so fucking horny grrrrr.

feeling like a teenager!

OK so tonight I'm going for drinks with a man who could just be the one! On paper he ticks all my boxes? He's almost too perfect? So perhaps this is why I'm so nervous this evening? I've been getting better but today has been nerve wracking! it's excited nervous so that's good! The fact that my belly's doing somersaults and i have a stupid grin on my face tells me i like him so tonight is a big step! eeeeeep :-D

I'll let you know how it goes!! Must go shave my legs ;-)

avoiding the ex :-/

So it's not fair that when I'm really horny my morals go out the window! I'd possibly fuck anything if horny enough :-p actually this is not true, i don't sleep about. I'd do anything to get myself off is perhaps more accurate?

So i went to my mum's at the weekend so no real me time :-p by the time i got home i was almost too horny to move :-o then i spoke to the ex and he made me even more horny which made me realise that actually where he's concerned, when I'm horny enough i have no morals and just talking to him makes me that way. He should not be taking advantage of this i feel :-p

Anyway this has made me avoid him as after talking to him the other day i was overcome with the urge to go to him and hopefully find him with his cock out in his office absently stroking himself enabling me to hitch my skirt up, straddle him on his computer chair, feeling him slide inside me and proceeding to ride him till i cum. grrrr I'm so horny!

more dating?

Hmmm so Friday i met guy 4? or is it 5? anyway met him for coffee we strolled along the seafront and chatted it was nice i said I'd go for dinner with him Saturday.

So this week i am perhaps overbooked as i have lunch weds, drinks Thurs, dinner Fri and dinner sat? all with different men :-o but this is OK isn't it? Is there such a thing as too much dating? I'm just covering all my bases :-p

Needless to say all this dating is making me horny as hell! grrrr so need to just pick one that i can get to know :-p they all have good points though :-/

grrrr! Are we all this horny?

Right! I'm so horny it's giving me the hump! everything turns me on! everything i look at makes me imagine having sex either on it or up against it! How is it even possible? How do some people not be horny? Why wouldn't you be? i mean orgasms are awesome so are we all just like this? Perhaps it's not just me?

I spoke to the ex today, and i was bored so told him to entertain me? I actually didn't mean it dirty but when he said "how do you suggest i do that?" It took every ounce of self control i have not to say "take ya clothes off and wank on web cam for me" and i know that's a bad idea! hence i stopped myself but i think avoidance may be the way to go there!

Dirty dream

So last night i had a hot dream and it's stayed with me making me horny all day so i felt the need to share.

So i was dressed in a long coat, over the knee socks and knee high boots, i knocked on the door he opened it pulled me inside, pushed me up against the wall and kissed me thoroughly while his hand reached down between my thighs his fingers entering my wet pussy, he pushed my coat off my shoulders pushed me on my knees on the stairs, buried his hands in my hair and proceeded to fuck me hard! I cum practically instantly and he wasn't far behind. we lay spent on the stairs for a while before i took him by the hand and led him up to the bedroom laying him on the bed he lay watching me as i slipped on the strap on and straddled him to tie his hands to the headboard, kissing him deeply i felt him growing hard against me, sliding a blindfold on i proceeded to lick and suck and nibble my way down his body. Reaching for the lube, i applied a liberal amount to him, loosening him up with a couple of fingers before lifting his legs over my shoulders his bum resting on my thighs giving me the perfect angle to enter him with my strap on, fucking him, watching him get closer and closer until he cums hard watching his body convulse as he does :-D

Needless to say I'm oh so horny today it was an awesome dream! not sure who the man was though :-/ but damn i wanna fuck him!

the 3rd 1st!

Hmm so today i accepted my 3rd first date! coffee with a guy that i'm not convinced about but in the interest of fairness and saying yes to everyone i am going i'll let you know how it goes,

wine and the second first date :-p

Hmmm so I've been on the wine again! and today i went on a first date with a second man so he's 38, local and oh so hot we went for coffee and I'm definitely getting better at meeting potential serial killers practically blase about it :-p it was nice but he didn't stimulate me so we probably wont meet again but good experience :-p and in his defence he was very nice and did all the right things :-/

The first man from the other day I'm also not convinced about as things are quite strained between us conversation just doesn't quite flow :-/ hmmm i dunno?

So my friend says i need to meet men the conventional way i.e. talk to strange men so tomorrow i plan to chat up a strange man in public :-p lol I'll let you know how this goes ha ha ha

motorbike horn!

So today i went for lunch with an ex on his sexy motorbike needless to say get a girl like me on a large vibrating machine and I'm gonna cream my pants! I had to excuse myself when we arrived and clean myself up and then when he dropped me home he came in for tea and didn't leave till my daughter got home so I've had the horn all evening! grrrr can't wait to get my Hitachi magic wand out and properly sort myself out! Needless to say i have no feelings for this ex otherwise i definitely would have rode him today but we're good friends and that would definitely complicate matters but i need to do something if i am to go on said bike again! I'm thinking the insertion of some love balls? lol so not appropriate. I think i wanna learn to ride :-D

intelligent comedy

So today i get to thinking that i love intelligent men, give me a man that makes me need a dictionary and it makes me wet! just thinking about it does me :-D so this makes intelligent comedy the most awesome thing. I love QI, Dara O Briain, Russell brand and more recently Ricky Gervais. I can't help it they make my insides go funny :-/

So this leads me to a guy I'm chatting to who's a doctor which is awesome but he leaves me worried that he's actually too clever! If there is such a thing? Perhaps time to brush up on my medical terminology :-D and trying to resist the urge to tell him to talk big words to me ha ha wow i really can't ever meet him i think I'd jump him in public!

Date one, done!

Hmm so tonight went really well, he was lovely. Must actually be getting better at meeting potential serial killers as the nerves went pretty quickly and left us able to chat nicely.

So he used to be a fire fighter and yes he still has the uniform! obviously i had to ask? lol did feel like a massive perv doing so but the words just wouldn't stay in :-) ha ha He's a bit of an adrenaline junkie which will maybe rub off on me? :-p a plus point. Can drive a motorbike! another plus point.

Anyway definite plans to see him again. Reserving judgement for now!

First date!

Hmmm so tonight i am going on my first date with a guy from this new dating site someone that i'm not sure i'd usually bother with but hey in the interest of saying yes to everyone we'll give it a go! Not the guy with the bull whip skills as after some research i find that a bull whip is an Indiana Jones style whip! I think that might just be taking it a step to far! but i'm definitely intrigued by some light bondage me thinks!

Anyway tonight's guy is divorced, local, 44, driving instructor, has kids, seems normal :-/ I'll let you know later how it goes if he isn't a serial killer and i live through the experience!

Now what to wear? heels? you have to for an evening of course! um dress? too much? jeggins? jeans? hmmm nice jeans heels and a top? casual but dressy? drinks not dinner.

Intrigued! Master Whiplash!?

Hmmm so i accidentally came across someone who is into some kinky shit a skilled bull whip artiste apparently? i don't even know what that is! but i have to admit to having a slight stirring in my vajayjay at the thought of a) being whipped and b) being dominated! Thinking this is maybe something I'll explore further?

I really don't do pain but i like it rough and figure i could go some spanking not sure whipping wouldn't be a step too far, but hey if you never try you'll never know?

Joining a dating website

So yesterday i joined a dating website and I've decided to put some serious effort into finding that man of my dreams that will let me do him with a strap on! ha ha so i am talking to everyone and anyone regardless of age, looks, location and colour and intend to say yes to anyone that asks! I will keep you updated with how this goes! :-D

A trend?

Ha ha ha so today i found that my friend has ordered a strap on and some restraints for her b/f for his birthday! lol i can't help but feel responsible :-p although i was only lukewarm about actually doing it but it has sprung to mind again and it was a good experience and one that I'm keen to redo to improve on and make it a skill :-p practice makes perfect i guess :-p now to just convince someone to let me do it :-)

So as you know the act of doing it was a little bit of an anti climax although not without enjoyment but i think i may be expected too much too? I think this was the same for him because he didn't seem overly bothered by it so i don't like not being good at things :-p so i think perhaps this will be my personal challenge :-p It was awesome to be knelt behind him and in control ;-) hmm yes definitely one to work on :-) volunteers? ;-)

All day masturbation. :-/

hmmm so yesterday I'm not sure if it was a full moon or what but i spent practically all day masturbating and feeling myself up! I just couldn't help it not sure what it was but every time i could get five minutes alone my hands were in my knickers! Even at the hospital visiting a friend! That can't be right? Even to the point that today I'm almost too sensitive to touch! don't get me wrong it felt awesome and well still does but i worry this is a problem! See now talking about it my hands automatically wander and i'm horny all over! I love it :-D

Valentine's day :-)

Hmmm so today my thoughts turned to Valentine's day and i feel that you men need some guidance :-)

So most of us say we're not that bothered but of course we are :-)

Cuddly toys are a big no unless you're ten though! don't get me wrong they're lovely to get but generally a big cop out and not really of any use. So what should you go for? Well obviously romance is the key here, it largely depends on what we're into go the extra mile and make it something special! Money is not an issue and generally expensive is not better for Valentine's day :-)

Underwear is awesome but only if you're really sure on our size! We all like a bit of a clue as to what you'd actually like to see us in so definitely underwear helps :-) along with sexy dresses and shoes that you'd like us in not necessarily what we'd generally wear.

Perfume also a nice Valentine's option but make sure you're aware of our favourite.

Chocolate! always appreciated.

Something made! An awesome personal option still to this day my favourite Valentine's prezzie of all time was a picture frame decorated personally and filled with favorite pics and those special song words!

oooooh or something deviant and sexy edible undies, massage oils and body paints fab!

Hope it helps and remember we're all different so just because this works for me it may not for her :-)

feeling better :-p

LOL so after my weekend of poisonous posts which you will now see are removed and that i really hope not many people saw! especially a certain someone :-p but well ooops what can i say i was seriously fucked off! anyway I'm feeling better :-) i have passed through to acceptance me thinks :-p

So thanks for your input and advice :-p and no i don't really feel threatened by the 19 year old surprisingly enough i believe that actually she won't be enough and that it wont last and despite many of you telling me to bide my time I'm not that sort of girl who is going to wait around. It's not so much who he chose to move on with as much as how quickly he moved on that leads me to realise that he never felt what i would have needed him to :-/ but that's OK. I'm surprisingly OK with it now?

lol if it's not too mean to say i actually feel a little sorry for him after spending a rather uncomfortable couple of hours with my brother in law and his um girlfriend? whom is 20 years younger and only 20 needless to say the age difference was quite noticeable and despite our best efforts it was hard work! I'm not even sure how? she's at university hard working and I'm guessing intelligent but there's just something in the way she looks at things that makes her appear a little gauche :-/ needless to say this confirmed my brother in law to be a perv and helped me realise that it's not actually jealousy that makes me disapprove (well not just jealousy :-p).

LOL and for those of you that tell me he's not worthy and obviously doesn't give a shit thanks :-D I know :-p and also we all know i'm every man's dream in the bedroom but thanks anyway :-D

Fuck you!

Hmmm so today I'm manning up and thinking fuck you! I'm better than this shit, i can deal with this and am faking it till i make it! Feeling good and positive today thanking the gorgeous Mr B for his beautiful view on me and life. I am awesome and i don't have to prove it :-D

Lol and so as not to lose the sex theme I'm back to being fucking horny all the time everything gets me horny at the moment it's rather indecent :-p

mutual masturbation

hmmm I'm a great fan of this but only at a distance like on web cam as put in the vicinity of an erect penis and i'm afraid my self control is zero! but i think this is a great way to be with someone you can't actually be with and well as i mentioned in the past more masturbation equals a higher sex drive so win, win!

I taste good :-)

Hmm so tonight i have been drinking! not a huge amount but enough to make me horny!

so as i sit here playing with myself and sucking my fingers i am reassured that i am still highly sexed and i taste awesome :-) and i met a cute guy :-) it's all good :-p

Not a nice person :-(

Hmm so not my usual sexual rant but something i felt the need to share and i love getting your feedback on facebook and twitter because you guys rock :-p even if you don't actually join or leave messages here i love ya anyway :-D

Also Mr Ex perhaps actually about time you stopped reading this because quite simply it's never going to be anything you want to hear :-(

Hmmm so as some of you may know, the exish type person is dating a 19 year old! something I've found hard to deal with i put my hands up to that but i was coping well, i really was getting there so when facebook decided to display said 19 year old as a friend suggestion due to us having two friends in common well you can imagine it did not go down well to find out said girl actually went to school with my best friend's daughter! damaging to say the least.

add to this me being a complete bitch about the child, well then obviously i feel bad, i was very mean, not to her obviously, and i was perhaps just venting a little but then to find she maybe had similar said in school made me feel really crappy! I really didn't mean it, she's just a child and I'm very sorry! even though she wont see this and will never know i was mean :-) I'm slightly disturbed that i am that person :-(

ooooh does it make me even worse that my whole reason for doing this is to make myself feel better?

Am I ill?

Hmmm so I'm worried i might be ill? I'm managing on a single masturbation most days and I'm not all that horny? what does this mean? I can't remember the last time i was like this feels a little strange? Hoping it'll come back if i start having sex again? but i don't know! Think maybe I'm just feeling a little emotionally delicate and that's having an effect?

I'm not sure if it's a good thing? It's less painful, but I'm worried it's gone forever? Nope I'm actually sure it's just because I'm a little raw at the moment and that's making me just need a cuddle and no other strings attached :-) well i hope so maybe? Is a low sex drive a bad thing? Hmmm interesting.....

Less masturbation!

Hmm so i read somewhere that the more you masturbate the higher your sex drive! not sure if it's true but thought as i masturbate ALOT and I'm ALWAYS horny that perhaps if i stop masturbating then i might not be so horny, and well, I'm still masturbating daily i can't help it! but only once maybe twice but that's it and actually I'm perhaps a little bit better? I'm still horny but bearably so, I think. Also not getting any so this is actually a good thing although not masturbating is quite hard and maybe why I'm not horny for sex because I'm spending so much time trying not to masturbate! anyway just wanted to share that :-p
Was gonna have a little personal rant but decided against it :-)

is age but a number?

Hmmm so i sort of think maybe this is the case but also think a lot of things need to be taken into consideration :-p

personally i couldn't date someone that much younger i did try recently but at the stage i realised they were closer to my daughters age than mine it made me feel like a dirty perv! :-p Saying that a friend recently slept with a 24 year old definitely closer to her 19 year old daughters age than hers and i didn't really approve although she wasn't about to date him which sort of made it worse a little predatory? hmm then another friend male this time slept with a 19 year old he's 31 sort of thought it was OK until i really thought about and thought my daughter is only six years younger :-/ makes me struggle to be OK with that lol not that I'm about to cut contact because of that although my other friend has now nicknamed him paedo :-p and I'll be sure to give him a hard time for it :-p taking it the other way i was dating someone 19 years older but think when you get to my age it's more of age being just a number and in life terms we were at the same-ish stage? oh anyway I'm not convinced it's OK to prey on the young :-p what are we thinking people? and is it more acceptable for men?

i donned the strap on!

Sorry we always seem to come back to this but well it became an issue but well we did it! If I'm honest it was a bit of an anti-climax? I think i may have expected too much? My biggest problem was that it was over too quickly i guess and i figure i should just have learnt to be patient but well it's done now and it's left me with no real desire to do it again and seen as I've just finished with the man that let me that's maybe a good thing :-) although maybe a new victim would have more self control? ha ha ;-p

So what went wrong? Well he says he didn't need the reach around ;-p so in future i guess one or the other unless I'm in a rush?

I am glad i got to do it though, not every woman can say she fucked a man up the arse with a strap on :-D